General

HAVOCA · HAVOCA

Does anyone have any good inner child examples - or do people think it's a load of nonsense? Stay safe Jamie

segelov · segelov

Hello As victims of abuse how do others deal with media reports such as the dreadful outcome of the Russian School Siege? Or last night watching The Bill and the story line about childhood sexual abuse? I find myself crying for the children and for the parents as far as the siege is con...

HAVOCA · HAVOCA

Any top tips to deal with flashbacks and/or triggers?

rob · rob

Hi

I have just come back from visiting my elderly mother (late 80's). You do not know what distress and guilt this does to me...Let me fill you in. My child sex abuse does not come from my parents but it comes from a "friend" whom my parents thought they could trust. The reason for t...

Frog · Frog

Hi I don't know how or were to start but I have to talk, the pain is burning, and so near the surface right now. My memories are fragmented I don't remeber who. Which frustrates me so much. I remeber lost of bad times feeling so lonely, having to defend for myself. I remeber once when I was at primary s...

segelov · segelov

Hello The question is how does one ask for help? Whenever I have done so I am told that as I am strong I do not really need help. To the outside world I appear as an example of success - my story in as few words that I can muster. I am the eldest of seven maybe nine children. The first types of abuse that I reme...

michelle · michelle

Do you believe talking about abuse all the time.Can hinder or help your recovery process?

ouchzone · ouchzone

Sometimes postings cause others distress because they are on the other side of the fence. I don't know how to handle this when it happens because I need help but am afraid I will hurt the poster if I seek it. I've spent my life on the wrong side of the fence so this is a big problem for me. I couldn't trust myse...

feemarie · feemarie

Hi, Im not doing too well today really. I woke up many times in the night and have had a memory return to me that id forgotten. I keep thinking everythings come back to me already then i remember something else id forgotten and it seems like each time its worse. will it ever end? i am scared and so al...

michelle · michelle

Do you believe addictions play a major role in abused victims lives? Your opinion Michelle

michelle · michelle

Does anyone feel that they have made it through the healing process. And are finding some closure on there abuse?

Leila · Leila

It's my first post, and i'm not exactly sure how to start out. I have an amazing boyfriend that loves me more then anything. Sometimes, when we get into a bad argument, I shut down and I can't feel anything, its pretty much like I'm numb. I tell him that its from the emotional/physical abuse from years a...

segelov · segelov

Hello every one! For the last little while I have been reading all the postings when I have been able, and making just a few posts. So many of you are saying so many of the things that I feel or have felt over the years. I have been keeping a journal/diary on and of since I was in my teens, alt...

Growing roots and wings · Growing roots and wings

Hi, I'm just wondering if anyone else has problems with self-care, what kind of problems you've had, and especially if you've found any thing that helps. Also, if you've found any insight as to WHY you have these problems, I'd be fascinated to hear. Regards,

Sue · Sue

Very good morning to you everybody, I thought may be you might use this. We are all angry, and we have the right to be. divert your anger into sport. sound stupid? NO! Buy a ticket for a match any football, boxing or what ever available. Nothing going on in the area you live, then eurosport is the b...

michelle · michelle

I know I am the one always askings questions. Please for give me.I was physically abused as a child.I notice by some of your post a lot of you suffered from sexual abuse. And I am not quite sure who has suffered physical abuse. I wondered if you would like to share. So we could all get a better under...

Sue · Sue

Hi dearest friends and I mean it even what we have in common is not a very nice experienses. My father (crazy Italian which I look as a copy of him) gave me the best advice I have ever encountered. When he noticed that I drink a lot, he stopped me and said "If you do not love yours...

feemarie · feemarie

hi everyone, i just wanted to ask if anyone else finds it difficult expressing yourself to other people? example: my boyfriend is extremely supportive and caring about the situation but a lot of times i dont feel like i can tell him exactly whats the matter. he is very patient with me bu...

sunshine · sunshine

has anyone has the courage to have their abuser prosecuted.what was outcome of trial?what problems did it cause in family

michelle · michelle

I know were all victims of abuse. How were you able not to become a abuser also? Your input: Thanks Michelle

Frog · Frog

Hi It's Frog again I need some advice something has been buggig me for awhile and I don't know how to deal with it. it's todo with my ex husband, he used to have a laptop and was connected to the internet, but he would never let me touch his computer if I needed to use it he would finally let me then watch over...

maw · maw

Hi all, dunu what to say really, im so confused. but ill try. ok im male and 42 years young :) with 4 beautiful children 21, 14 ,11 and 9, also i have a lovely wife, who i love dearly. so why am i so angry? go off on one at the slightest thing? im only hurting the people i love. I trust noone, until they earn trus...

michelle · michelle

As I was reading a post a very good topic came to my attention.Something I myself have never considered in abuse. Do you believe people of sexual abuse suffer from more ANGER than people of physical abuse? I am a physical and verbal abuse survivor. I would defiantly believe sexual abuse vic...

amanda · amanda

I thought I would just ask how others people prepare for appointments. I always get myself so worked up for a good week before hand then when I get there I either disassociate or am physically sick.(Psychiatrists covered in vomit are not a pretty sight). Joking aside I ha...

ouchzone · ouchzone

A recent topic was therapy. I’ve had some a few years ago, a general counsellor on the NHS, which helped but didn’t resolve my worse problems. Every time I tried to talk about the worse stuff the therapist steered me away from the topic. I’m not sure whether that was to safeguard me as the confront...

Frog · Frog

Has anyone heard of OCD (I will try and spell this, please excuse mistakes I am really bad at spelling) Obsessive Compolusive Disorder. I was never dignosed with this but beleive I had it when I was a kid, as i beleive it it, it's doing something over and over again and you cant stop yourself, like washing...

HAVOCA · HAVOCA

Message moved by administrator Original poster: michelle So many of you write about your feelings you carry inside.I myself do not understand this.When I was living in the physical abuse I cried all the time and felt so alone.But as the years have past I feel nothing know pain or the extreme a...

michelle · michelle

I was wondering if any one was involved with any organization that deals with abused children? I am involved with a organization called CASA that means Court Appointed Special Advocate for abused and neglected children. I am from the US so I know some may not be familiar with CASA. Jus...

ouchzone · ouchzone

Hello I’m new here. I’m not very good with people so if I do something wrong please say. I’m still terrified of making the slightest mistake. I think any posts I make are capable of triggering someone, sorry. This site is excellent and so far it’s a place I feel reasonably safe with. There’s s...

feemarie · feemarie

I suffer with terrible nightmares re-living what happened to me or it happening to me again now. They are so real, I wake up very shaken and it often takes me time to feel safe. It can often effect my whole day. Its getting to the point where i am scared to sleep at all. I just wondered if othe...

hazel · hazel

ive had lots of therapy and have overcome some really difficult times and im really proud of myself. but im still so angry its driving me crazy, i wake up in the middle of the night feeling furious, im grumpy when i wake up in the morning, im finding it realy hard not to take this out on people i car...

amanda · amanda

I am so angry I found myself today in a situation I was totally uneasy with and instead of leaving before I lost control I sat dumb struck and relied on my back up system. Why when things get difficult do I panic and allow them to deal with the matter. All the work on retaining c...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Inner Child (Preview) Does anyone have any good inner child examples - or do people think it's a load of nonsense? Stay safe Jamie	HAVOCA	7	279	Sep 21, 2004 by ouchzone
	Media (Preview) Hello As victims of abuse how do others deal with media reports such as the dreadful outcome of the Russian School Siege? Or last night watching The Bill and the story line about childhood sexual abuse? I find myself crying for the children and for the parents as far as the siege is con...	segelov	2	185	Sep 20, 2004 by Frog
	Flashbacks (Preview) Any top tips to deal with flashbacks and/or triggers?	HAVOCA	2	354	Sep 20, 2004 by Frog
	Inner Child and Elderly Parents (Preview) Hi I have just come back from visiting my elderly mother (late 80's). You do not know what distress and guilt this does to me...Let me fill you in. My child sex abuse does not come from my parents but it comes from a "friend" whom my parents thought they could trust. The reason for t...	rob	3	359	Sep 20, 2004 by Frog
	My Story So Far... (Could TRIGGER) (Preview) Hi I don't know how or were to start but I have to talk, the pain is burning, and so near the surface right now. My memories are fragmented I don't remeber who. Which frustrates me so much. I remeber lost of bad times feeling so lonely, having to defend for myself. I remeber once when I was at primary s...	Frog	7	266	Sep 19, 2004 by Frog
	Cry for help! (Preview) Hello The question is how does one ask for help? Whenever I have done so I am told that as I am strong I do not really need help. To the outside world I appear as an example of success - my story in as few words that I can muster. I am the eldest of seven maybe nine children. The first types of abuse that I reme...	segelov	2	202	Sep 19, 2004 by Raindancer
	TALKING ABOUT ABUSE EFFECT YOU (Preview) Do you believe talking about abuse all the time.Can hinder or help your recovery process?	michelle	3	197	Sep 18, 2004 by Raindancer
	How do I do it right? (Preview) Sometimes postings cause others distress because they are on the other side of the fence. I don't know how to handle this when it happens because I need help but am afraid I will hurt the poster if I seek it. I've spent my life on the wrong side of the fence so this is a big problem for me. I couldn't trust myse...	ouchzone	3	382	Sep 18, 2004 by Raindancer
	memories haunting me. (Preview) Hi, Im not doing too well today really. I woke up many times in the night and have had a memory return to me that id forgotten. I keep thinking everythings come back to me already then i remember something else id forgotten and it seems like each time its worse. will it ever end? i am scared and so al...	feemarie	4	198	Sep 18, 2004 by Raindancer
	ADDICTIONS (Preview) Do you believe addictions play a major role in abused victims lives? Your opinion Michelle	michelle	5	208	Sep 18, 2004 by segelov
	CLOSURE ON ABUSE (Preview) Does anyone feel that they have made it through the healing process. And are finding some closure on there abuse?	michelle	4	205	Sep 18, 2004 by feemarie
	Telling your story.... (Preview) It's my first post, and i'm not exactly sure how to start out. I have an amazing boyfriend that loves me more then anything. Sometimes, when we get into a bad argument, I shut down and I can't feel anything, its pretty much like I'm numb. I tell him that its from the emotional/physical abuse from years a...	Leila	6	231	Sep 18, 2004 by feemarie
	Journals (may trigger) (Preview) Hello every one! For the last little while I have been reading all the postings when I have been able, and making just a few posts. So many of you are saying so many of the things that I feel or have felt over the years. I have been keeping a journal/diary on and of since I was in my teens, alt...	segelov	0	144	Sep 17, 2004 by segelov
	Anyone else have problems with self-care? (Preview) Hi, I'm just wondering if anyone else has problems with self-care, what kind of problems you've had, and especially if you've found any thing that helps. Also, if you've found any insight as to WHY you have these problems, I'd be fascinated to hear. Regards,	Growing roots and wings	8	307	Sep 17, 2004 by claudine
	anger (Preview) Very good morning to you everybody, I thought may be you might use this. We are all angry, and we have the right to be. divert your anger into sport. sound stupid? NO! Buy a ticket for a match any football, boxing or what ever available. Nothing going on in the area you live, then eurosport is the b...	Sue	4	182	Sep 17, 2004 by Sue
	ABUSE PHYSICAL OR SEXUAL (Preview) I know I am the one always askings questions. Please for give me.I was physically abused as a child.I notice by some of your post a lot of you suffered from sexual abuse. And I am not quite sure who has suffered physical abuse. I wondered if you would like to share. So we could all get a better under...	michelle	13	378	Sep 17, 2004 by feemarie
	SELF-CARE (Preview) Hi dearest friends and I mean it even what we have in common is not a very nice experienses. My father (crazy Italian which I look as a copy of him) gave me the best advice I have ever encountered. When he noticed that I drink a lot, he stopped me and said "If you do not love yours...	Sue	0	153	Sep 17, 2004 by Sue
	feeling alone. (Preview) hi everyone, i just wanted to ask if anyone else finds it difficult expressing yourself to other people? example: my boyfriend is extremely supportive and caring about the situation but a lot of times i dont feel like i can tell him exactly whats the matter. he is very patient with me bu...	feemarie	9	296	Sep 16, 2004 by feemarie
	court (Preview) has anyone has the courage to have their abuser prosecuted.what was outcome of trial?what problems did it cause in family	sunshine	6	262	Sep 16, 2004 by HAVOCA
	NOT ABUSING (Preview) I know were all victims of abuse. How were you able not to become a abuser also? Your input: Thanks Michelle	michelle	17	680	Sep 14, 2004 by spunk
	Need Some Advice (Preview) Hi It's Frog again I need some advice something has been buggig me for awhile and I don't know how to deal with it. it's todo with my ex husband, he used to have a laptop and was connected to the internet, but he would never let me touch his computer if I needed to use it he would finally let me then watch over...	Frog	6	247	Sep 14, 2004 by Frog
	confusion, could trigger (Preview) Hi all, dunu what to say really, im so confused. but ill try. ok im male and 42 years young :) with 4 beautiful children 21, 14 ,11 and 9, also i have a lovely wife, who i love dearly. so why am i so angry? go off on one at the slightest thing? im only hurting the people i love. I trust noone, until they earn trus...	maw	2	241	Sep 14, 2004 by Raindancer
	PHYSICAL SEXUAL ABUSE ANGER (Preview) As I was reading a post a very good topic came to my attention.Something I myself have never considered in abuse. Do you believe people of sexual abuse suffer from more ANGER than people of physical abuse? I am a physical and verbal abuse survivor. I would defiantly believe sexual abuse vic...	michelle	9	281	Sep 13, 2004 by amanda
	preparing for appointments (Preview) I thought I would just ask how others people prepare for appointments. I always get myself so worked up for a good week before hand then when I get there I either disassociate or am physically sick.(Psychiatrists covered in vomit are not a pretty sight). Joking aside I ha...	amanda	3	205	Sep 13, 2004 by amanda
	Cycles of Abuse and Deception (Preview) A recent topic was therapy. I’ve had some a few years ago, a general counsellor on the NHS, which helped but didn’t resolve my worse problems. Every time I tried to talk about the worse stuff the therapist steered me away from the topic. I’m not sure whether that was to safeguard me as the confront...	ouchzone	1	168	Sep 13, 2004 by LittleDragon
	Anyone heard of OCD (Preview) Has anyone heard of OCD (I will try and spell this, please excuse mistakes I am really bad at spelling) Obsessive Compolusive Disorder. I was never dignosed with this but beleive I had it when I was a kid, as i beleive it it, it's doing something over and over again and you cant stop yourself, like washing...	Frog	10	317	Sep 12, 2004 by Frog
	feelings (orginally posted by michelle) (Preview) Message moved by administrator Original poster: michelle So many of you write about your feelings you carry inside.I myself do not understand this.When I was living in the physical abuse I cried all the time and felt so alone.But as the years have past I feel nothing know pain or the extreme a...	HAVOCA	3	204	Sep 12, 2004 by 2Qwirky
	VICTIMS HELPING CHILDREN (Preview) I was wondering if any one was involved with any organization that deals with abused children? I am involved with a organization called CASA that means Court Appointed Special Advocate for abused and neglected children. I am from the US so I know some may not be familiar with CASA. Jus...	michelle	0	166	Sep 9, 2004 by michelle
	Avoiding Triggers (Preview) Hello I’m new here. I’m not very good with people so if I do something wrong please say. I’m still terrified of making the slightest mistake. I think any posts I make are capable of triggering someone, sorry. This site is excellent and so far it’s a place I feel reasonably safe with. There’s s...	ouchzone	4	224	Sep 9, 2004 by hazel
	nightmares (Preview) I suffer with terrible nightmares re-living what happened to me or it happening to me again now. They are so real, I wake up very shaken and it often takes me time to feel safe. It can often effect my whole day. Its getting to the point where i am scared to sleep at all. I just wondered if othe...	feemarie	5	274	Sep 8, 2004 by ouchzone
	how angry am i?! (Preview) ive had lots of therapy and have overcome some really difficult times and im really proud of myself. but im still so angry its driving me crazy, i wake up in the middle of the night feeling furious, im grumpy when i wake up in the morning, im finding it realy hard not to take this out on people i car...	hazel	3	222	Sep 6, 2004 by feemarie
	alters (might trigger) (Preview) I am so angry I found myself today in a situation I was totally uneasy with and instead of leaving before I lost control I sat dumb struck and relied on my back up system. Why when things get difficult do I panic and allow them to deal with the matter. All the work on retaining c...	amanda	1	185	Sep 6, 2004 by hazel
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