how angry am i?!

hazel · Veteran Member

how angry am i?!

segelov · Experienced Member

Hello Hazel,

Not sure if what I say will help, I so recognise the scenario that you talk about, the waking up angry, the sheer fury that I used to feel, and at times I was not at all sure who or what I was angry with. It did dissapeared eventually, I do not remember when, why or how. My anger used to be very destructive especially towards myself, I would push every one away, I made some very bad decision through that period; however Hazel it seems that you are becoming in control of your life and coming to terms with your abuse, so your anger may be a step in your healing (I am not a counsellor) and again it will pass and become manageable, all I can tell you is how I deal with the odd occasion of anger that I feel now - first reaction is to run away from it and tell myself its not happening, second reaction is to go and do something physical and pretend the bread dough or the garden soil is the object of my anger, third is to go and turn on the stereo and listen to music as loud as I and the neighbours can bear. Another habit that I have developed is to have a dream journal, so that when I wake I write my dreams and my feelings (including if I have woken angry) into it.

Hope this helps

Be kind to yourself

rob · Veteran Member

Anger, is a natural emotion...but for us,it sometimes seems out of control. What you said, I feel, many of us can associate with. The years of repressing our emotions has made our angry emotion into a volatile "volcano," a bottle of fizzy pop or a pendulum! Everything seems ok then for the slightest reason...WHOOSH! it explodes, sometimes with devastating effect or it swings to the opposite. We experience the extremes of this emotion! but I have been told with relaxation etc, we can help the swings become less extreme. I am told that we must not hide our emotions or push them away deep down inside (that's easy for them to say!) but to talk and feel the emotion for what it is. This way the extremes should in theory become less so that the effects are less. But we have a right to be angry! it is how, when and in what way that we express it.

feemarie · Senior Member

Hi Hazel,

I don't really have any words of wisdom for you I'm afraid to say but I want you to know that you really are not alone. My anger consumes me sometimes and even when I know everything is good and I should be happy and contented I still have to fight the anger. I seem to be getting better at coping with it lately though and I think thats just through starting to deal with my feelings and understand myself more. And a very understanding boyfriend luckily!

One thing has actually always helped me though and I'll tell you tho I dont know if itll work for you (I think you have to find your own release!) I love music and always find a song to express my mood, putting it on really loud singing, almost screaming at the top of my lungs along to it and having a good old bounce around or just a sit and cry always seems to shake my mood off, sometimes ill do this for a good hour or so!! Like I say, dont know if itll work for you but know that the anger you feel is obviously not unusual as i go there too. I drive myself nuts also!

Keep your chin up and take gentle care of yaself

fee

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