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STICKY:
ALL TO READ - New Forum
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Great news - Josh has designed and helped us build a much better forum. It is now open and we actively encourage you all to join by following the link below and registering.
This forum will remain open forever as reference, and you can easily cut and paste any messages you would like to keep over...
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HAVOCA
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0
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743
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Hi Again.*may trigger**
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Hi everyone,
Firstly thanks to all who got me through and continue to get me through the last few weeks. I have had a flu this week which has left me feeling pretty crap. I just kept crying today just feel so sad for the little girl that was so afraid and had only her teddies to protect her. I cannot really c...
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margaret
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16
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1788
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need to sleep!!!!
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can anyone help!!!
haven't slept since monday!! feel absolutly shattered!!
tried everything from hot milk to hot bath and relaxation exercises to whisky!!
really need to sleep!! brain wont let me!!
memories to confusing and painful!!!
having really bad time!!!
Need to sleep!!!
p...
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Tracey
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12
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2472
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Doing Better
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Hi, I just wanted to let everyone know that I am doing a little bit better. Things are still bad and I'm still wishing it would all just go away, but I am functioning a little better. Went to the doctor last night and poured my heart out to him even though i didn't mean to. I'm still beating myself up and havin...
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Amaria
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2
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598
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Non existent sex life MAY TRIGGER
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Hi there
I was sexually abused for a period of 4 years starting when i was 15. When I was 17 I went to see my GP. I was depressed, struggling with college work, alone, lonely and desperate. Vulnerable too. I went looking for support and was sexually abus...
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liz
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23
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1564
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Why me?????(might trigger)
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Why did it happen to me?? I know that is one question I'll never know the answer to!
I was put in a childrens home when i was 8 by my parents who thought they were doing the right thing!! I had suspected epilepsy(thanks to my aunt!!!!)
whilst i was there i was raped and abused numerous of time by a group of...
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Tracey
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6
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1288
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When
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When will these thoughts go away....It's making me depressed and not want to live and function and enjoy life..I hate this feeling....I feel so sick. I just wish it would all go away. God I hate being like this.
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Amaria
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3
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709
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Anyone else ever feel this?
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Okay I have my first appt with a psychologist tomorrow and I've finally decided to go because some very odd things have been going on. I think something that happened to me on monday night triggered some very bad things and now I've been having some horrible thoughts.
Almost every word that you can re...
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Amaria
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9
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901
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Scared of myself
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I don't want to depress anyone or bring anyone down, but this is my first time here and I need to say a couple things. I'm sorry if it bothers anyone.
They say 80% of sex offenders were victims themselves. I do not believe I could do anything like that but I'm afraid that I could turn into that and I'm scare...
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Amaria
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6
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623
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why me *triggering*
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I'd like to tell you a little bit about myself if ok, and ask you for some help, and I want you to know that this is a huge step for me because I hardly ever talk about my secret.
I'll be brief even though I could go on for hours
I was sexually abused (ahhhhhh), by my grandfather for 6 years!!! god this is awe...
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angel eyes
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7
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676
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To tell or not to tell (and how do I)? May Trigger
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Hello Everyone
sorry this is a really heavy posting, but I could do with some help.
For about a year I have been seeing a therapist, and yesterday I got to the point of wanting to tell him about the sexual abuse. For ages I have hinted around the subject, aware that anyone who knows how to listen...
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spanglemaker
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10
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1680
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so naive
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Some people make me so mad!
The man who runs our local boys and girls club ( which my 9yr old son attended) has been questioned by police and had the club shut down, apparantly he's been 'messing' with young girls and taking photo's of them, shocking I know! but the people in my area are of the opinion tha...
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angel eyes
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6
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694
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looks
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I may be the only one to feel like this but i get very upset because I look a bit like my abuser, my grandfather! (he's dead now),my mother is the image of him and I hate it, she has his eyebrows and dark black hair as I do, I used to think she was so beautifull but when I look at her&nb...
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angel eyes
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7
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704
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Hi Again *sorry May trigger again *
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Hi everyone,
I'm having another bad day and am sorry again for bothering you. I know i have to stop saying sorry but i really feel like i do not deserve anything! I'm so angry at myself that i am needing support at the moment as a carer and now doing a bloody social work course I'm so used to being needed and...
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margaret
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15
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819
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MEMORIES WILL TRIGGER
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Hi Everyone,
I don't really know how to explain this, but I hop I do it ok and you understand what I am trying to get over, I just need to talk.
For as far back as I can remeber they has been this thing in my family, my mum and dad are so difficult.
For awhile things would go along fine and then I would be the...
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Frog
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4
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794
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Oh well...Here goes!*may trigger*
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Hi, It is so hard doing this...
Hi I'm Rob...I used to be a newbie!
For most of my early childhood, I remember good times. My parents worked hard and we were a happy family (I've got the photos-B+W). When I was 9-10yrs old, a life changing trauma happened and my family...
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rob
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5
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837
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hello
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Hi
This is my first post and I am grateful for this forum.
The silence was deafening before so thank-you to those in charge.
My life has been tremendously coloured by what I have experienced and I am soon returning to therapy. Just when I started getting good two years ago I was diagno...
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Lark
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6
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815
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AM I REALLY NOTHING
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I FEEL THAT I AM A NOTHING ON THIS PLANET DON'T EVEN EXIST SOMETIMES YOU TALK NO ONE LISTENS THEY ME HEAR ME BUT THEY ARE NOT LISTENING TO ME ITS AS IF I DON'T COUNT AND NOT EVEN HERE MAYBE ITS JUST ME WANTING TO MUCH AND WANTING PEOPLE TO UNDERSTAND WHAT IV'E BEEN THROUGH, AM I EXPECTING TO MUTCH OR IS...
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leckie
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4
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676
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Hi I'm new
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I came across this site only recently and can't believe it, you all think my thoughts and have the same problems as me! I thought I was crazy! I'm so scared writing this. It's been a secret for so long and I feel so guilty for talking. I started to write my journal yesterday and found it...
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angel eyes
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11
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914
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Very difficult day *may Trigger*
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Hi,
Sorry i wanted so much for my next message to be one that is positive but I'm having an awful day. I am doing a course and today we saw a video which involves children being taken from their mothers
I was not taken from my parents as a child even though in many ways i know now that there were so so many re...
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margaret
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8
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750
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when will this end? *may trigger*
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this is crazy. i think im fine and im coping and then bang im right back again and just cant cope. the last week has been just awful im angry and scared and i dont know what im doing. ive been so depressed, worse than ever before. do i have to get up every morning and face this for the rest of my life? is it...
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feemarie
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3
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840
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please help..its coming back
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i keep putting this subject back into its box and tightly shutting the lid down, but it keeps coming back. well its back again and this time i want to face it deal with the many issues it has given me, but it feels as though this is all there is, it never goes away.
this time is different, when im in be...
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jane
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6
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786
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MAy Trigger (I have a question)
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HI All,
I have been thinking today, and arrived with a question, an odd one at that I think, I guess cos I have never thought of it before I always new but it had never come to the fore front of my mind.
I asked my friend tonight if his mum or dad ever hugged him, he said he can't remeber he said his mum was not...
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Frog
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7
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826
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is this all i am?
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is this all i am?
this abuse, is this really all i am?
i think im doing ok, then i do something stupid and its back, self hate, not knowing what kind of person i am. am i a drama queen, is that why im here?
im sorry i don't know how to say this, i can't believe its back again, i don't know how to sort it, i want...
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jane
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14
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1214
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Why am i here?What is the point?* May trigger*
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Hi
I guess i am wondering what purpose i have in this world.If all I can offer is sexual me as a use sexually for someone (sorry that is how i feel ). what is the point? I have worked in healthcare for so long now just to make me feel better when the truth is I feel that all I am is someone to be used for sex. Love=...
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margaret
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2
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838
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sorry i feel like i am going back the way
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sorry i feel like i am going back the way now and i shouldn't be as i know i have come this far in dealing with my abuse from my stepfather before i met jill my x partner i lied to people about a lot of things having bad health to stop people getting to close to me and me getting close to them iwas so afra...
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leckie
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2
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651
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why am i so angry
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hi well this is hard to write not written any thing like this before been keeping it locked up hoping that these feelings would go away but they dont firstly im not sure why im writing this im doing well am at uni studying for a youth and community degree and also just got a job working with kids in a resident...
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ratty
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4
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625
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bad night *may trigger or not*.
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Hi there, It is really hard to write tonight so please bear with me,
I replied to a mail posted last night about whether abuse defines you or not. It was titled Is this all I am. It is wierd but last night i really felt the mailers pain and could empathise. Tonight i do not feel strong. I had a session with my...
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margaret
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4
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673
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May Trigger sexual experinecs
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Hi All
I hope this is ok to write this.
I want to ask if anyone has difficulty having sex. I know it's a real personnal thing to talk about but I needed to talk about it.
I first had sex, with my permission when I was just sixteen. after that I felt I wanted it more and more, it was a comfort in away it was th...
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Frog
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4
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704
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struggling tonight.
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I had to come on and write a bit cos i seem to be struggling quite a bit tonight. The last couple of weeks have been quite mad for me really, everything seems to be coming to a head, like ive got to a point where i have to do something to stop this pain. i feel its time to confront my father(my abuser) and m...
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feemarie
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23
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1207
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Trying to deal with denial
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I'm 33 years old and the mother of 3 daughters. I have been trying to deal with so many things the past year and find myself overwhelmed by much of everything. I hide most of my "bad" memories or dreams from my fiancee because he too is a survivor and is having a difficult time with his own drea...
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missy
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6
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891
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why I am here
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Hey....
I have posted my story before on a different board, but at the moment I am going through it quite badly in my head, so any additional support would be great.... (assuming nobody minds that is....)
I was abused sexually by my cousin from the age of four to the age of eight fairly regularly, I wo...
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LittleDragon
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3
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780
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Lost and Alone- Who to trust
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Hi All,
I needed to write I havn't visisted Havoca for a while and have missed it!
I am lost and don't know who to trust, my memories have been there but I cant see a face I can't remeber who, oh how I wish I knew. you would have thought you'd want to forget but I need to know.
recently after a time o...
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Frog
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8
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734
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confused and numb
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I have been seeing a T for physical and psycological abuse but recently started to have mad irrational thoughts that my father may have touched and fondled me. I thought i was imagining this and kept pushing these thoughts away untill my mum admitted that my father had 'wandering hands and was g...
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ellie
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6
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1076
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How i came to be here. *may trigger*
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Thought Id write a little bit about me and why im here.
I was abused by my father from as far back as i can remember til i was about 11. I wont go into any details now. i still see him unfortunately and have never done anything about what happened. My mother knows but has also never done anythi...
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feemarie
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1028
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