Scared of myself

Amaria · Member

Scared of myself

rob · Veteran Member

Hi amaria,

Do not be scared. Maybe that 80% never did anything about it! You are here with friends WHO UNDERSTAND. You are doing something about it and that is trying not to live your past but growing through it so you may understand. You will be in my thoughts tonight.

Take care, it is very brave to come into this forum

Rob

Amaria · Member

Thank you so much for that, I never thought about it like that and that helps very much.

It's nice to meet all of you btw.

amanda · Experienced Member

Hi amaria

welcome I am glad you have found here I can reassure you eveyone is very supportive.

I am not good at statistics but know that a high proportion of sex offenders were abused but if you read through the posts here you will see so many of us who post are not in that 80% we all have had this fear at some time I used to worry about this but no longer through therapy I will never be like y abusers

Take care and welcome again

amanda

leckie · Senior Member

hi amarie

i think like that it made me back away from my own children when they got to a sertian age and could not have physical contact with my x girlfriends kids as much as i wanted to just give them a hug and tell them that i loved them but i know i would rather bed dead than to abuse anyone

take care

sorry just gettin a wee bit upset

sorry should not have said that

-- Edited by leckie at 22:21, 2004-10-15

Amaria · Member

John,

I'm sorry you got upset, but you will never know how much your words help. To know that I am not alone in this makes me feel so much better. Everyone that has responded has made me feel better and I feel the exact same way as you. I would rather kill myself (not going to) than to ever hurt a child, which is why it makes this all so much harder, but everyone is right. Support and friendship and knowing the right thing and never wanting anyone to feel what we go through is what makes a difference. Please feel better. And thank you again.

With warm thoughts for you

Melissa

spanglemaker · Veteran Member

Hi Amaria

Like everyone else has said, being here shows how different you are. I am not too sure about those statistics - a really good book I read recently had a different spin on it. We survivors who simply get on with leading healthy happy lives don't get recorded in these surveys. The book is called 'Strong at the Broken Places' - if you put the title into Amazon it will come up with the author and price too. I found it such an inspiring book, and a great comfort when I too feel a bit afraid of myself.

Being brave enough to face these things square in the face means that we are far less likely to repeat the pain for ourselves or with others. I think it is often the case that we can become much more caring and sensitive because we really do have first hand experience of what it feels like to be so badly hurt.

I used to think that it was a weakness, or that I had mental health issues impossible to cure, because I am seeing a therapsit. I now think it is a strength to tackle my past - it's a way of looking after myself that I've lacked until recently. Also it shows huge responsiblity in we who are willing to go through the hard work of understanding ourselves better. That way we change and become the amazing, beautiful, kind, loving people we are meant to be.

I believe in you and all of the other wonderful people who share so much of themselves here at Havoca

Be kind to yourself

Spanglemaker