Trying to deal with denial

missy · Newbie

Trying to deal with denial

feemarie · Senior Member

hi missy,

what a terrible time you have been through, i am sorry for your pain. I too would rather sleep during the day and have bad dreams. i often stay up til the early hours of the morning. so it doesnt sound very strange to me! it must be hard for you not sharing with your fiance but hopefully now you can share here! i know it has helped me a great deal.

I am so sorry about the situation with your daughters, it must be so difficult. I truly sympathise.

Just wanted you to know that there is someone here listening and you are in my heart and thoughts.

take care missy and keep posting!

fee

x

missy · Newbie

Fee,

Thank you so much for replying. I have been trying to deal with so much. My oldest daughter who is 15 was just diagnosed with depression and places on 25 mg. of Lamictal and my middle daughter is 14 and just diagnosed with Bipolar and places on 100 mg. of Lamictal. Their dad is blaming me for both of them having these things. I feel terrible for both of them having to deal with these things, and do blame myself now. I'm trying to learn as much as I can about Bipolar and this medication. I already know about depression, I was diagnosed several years ago and have been on several different types of meds for it. But, it doesn't help that it may be my fault for my children being diagnosed so young with this stuff. I'm confused and lost. Thanks for your support.

michelle · Senior Member

Missy

I am writing on behalf of your daughter who has been diagnosed with bipolar this is a horriable disorder. I also suffer from it I was only diagnosed 3 yrs ago.I Hope you have been informed about the suicide risks with bipolar. I am not trying to scare you.People with bipolar have a high risk to suicide.

This disorder is hereditary.

On a more help full note there are websites that deal with teens who have bipolar.They also have messages boards for them.

Please if you have not educate yourself on this disorder.

Its good they have diagnosed her at a young age. Most of doctors do not diagnose it till later adulthood.

In know means am I trying to scare you. I feel educateing yourself on bipolar would be very beneficial to you and your daughter both.

Also a lot of bipolar people have to try alot of meds to get the right one.

My heart goes out to you and your girls.

Michelle

missy · Newbie

Michelle,

Thank you for your honest post. You did not scare me in anyway. I know the risks of suicide for people who have bipolar. I have studied it for several months now, that is why I wanted her dad to take her to someone so badly. I felt in my heart that she had the disorder and now I know for sure that is what she has. The more I read about it tho, the more I really think I have it too. I have been treated for several years for depression, but I felt that it never really was enough. My depression seemed at times to be untouched by the medication and then there were times when I felt I didn't need the meds because I was on top of the world. But, there are more things that lead me to believe that. My main focus right now is making sure that my daughter gets the needed help she deserves and I know that most people with the disorder must go thru lots of meds and I want to make sure that no matter what, I give her the support and love she needs. She has gone so long not knowing why she was so angry and hated so many people and things that never did anything to her to deserve those feelings from her. She went so long not understanding why she was like she was. She has tried so hard to work on her anger and mood swings, but never could feel that she could control them. Now, she needs to understand that there was nothing she could do to help that, no matter how hard she could have tried and worked, it would have been the way it was no matter what. I understand that now, and I keep telling her that. Hopefully she will find some meds that work for her, and she can begin to better understand that she is not abnormal or that she shouldn't feel bad for having this disorder. I support my daughter and want to do what I can to educate her and her father, but he refuses to believe that its anything major. My daughter has said on many occassions that she just wants to die, and that she would just want to kill herself. She has scars all over her arms from cutting herself, and she doesn't know why. When I've asked her why she does that, she just says to see if it would hurt, or because she was bored. I am so concerned about that. Her lows are pretty darn low and her highs are very high. But her anger is what has got me confused. She has SO much anger toward anyone, for no reason.

Anyway, she doesn't notice any difference in feelings yet with the meds, I explained that it could take up to a month before she does. She keeps attacking her older sister and she is out for blood. They fight like they are trying to kill eachother. And most times, they draw blood, get black eyes, bruises and just really hurt eachother. That scares me. I want to have knowledge to help her, but they live away from me now and I dont know how much help I will be to her, especially since her dad down plays everything, he thinks I over react about most everything.

Thanks for your support and don't feel bad about warning me, the honesty is most appreciated, and your input could help me understand first hand how to help. I am thankful for that.

michelle · Senior Member

Missy,

Most men are so SHALLOW I think.They think if they don't deal with the problems they will go away. I find men to be this way when it comes to there daughters or wives. In my experience.

Sometimes with Bp you flip out for really know reason.And at times you will suffer from memory loss and not remember much about the episode.

I myself do not take meds because I love the highs.And with meds you lose them.I go to therapy every week so hopefuly I won't go into depression.Therapy seems to help.I have only a one bad week in 3 and a half years.

Do let your daughter know ther are websites just for teens who suffer from bipolar.I have seen them.

If you feel you suffer from Bp also it would good to see a doctor also.I have herd it gets worse with age. One does not have control over Bp it controls you.I have seen where I could not get out of the bed for days. People think it is a mind thing far from it. If it was I could handle that.And you have your days your bouncing off the walls. And on those days nothing is impossible. ENERGY ENERGY ENERGY.

Here I go with the statistics 60 percent of people with Bipolar abuse drugs or alcohol. I myself beat the statistics on that.

I am sure I offended some men out there so I will reword my comment. I also know a few shallow women also. This are people in my book who do not won't to educate there selves on addictions,disorders, abuse exc.

I am so glad you are educating youself on Bipolar.

Always here

Michelle

Growing roots and wings · Veteran Member

Missy,
I just wanted to let you know that I think your daughters are extremely fortunate to have a mother like you. It sounds like you are doing everything you possibly can - you're definitely a positive anchor for their lives, even if they don't realize that right now. Eventually they will look back and realize how you were there for them.

I'm so sorry for the pain you went through - no-one deserves that.

Bless you.