I am Scared PART 2

Frog · Experienced Member

I am Scared PART 2

ouchzone · Experienced Member

This is difficult. I can't comment on your particular situation. But I can make general observations.

Abusers don't do it all the time. So when they are being 'normal' it's very confusing. For me when my mother was being pleasant and normal that's when I found it the hardest of all to cope. I was thinking along the lines of, I must have imagined all that bad stuff before. This person can't possibly have done all that stuff. I must be bad/crazy. Then the bad stuff would happen again and I would know it wasn't me imagining it. So the abusive bahaviour in a way became a relief. It sort of validated my previous experiences.

Other people would never have believed me if I had told them. Because in front of others she was wonderful. So really causing doubt to the victim is just an extension of that.

There must be a reason for your anxiety. It has to be a survival instinct.

ouch

Frog · Experienced Member

Hi Ouch,

I hope your well, your reply rings so true, thankyou, you really put it into a clear way, I am finding it hard to express myself in words latly even when I talk I cant get the words out always it comes out in gobbdly gook, it's also getting worse.

But what you said about your mother I feel the same this is so scary it's like what you wrote you were talking about me it's the same I just don't have the validation, cos I don't rember.

But I understand what you say when you said it was a relief when it happened again so you knew you wont mad, God I feel the same when they get horrible with me I know I am right an I am not imagining it. Oh Ouch thankyou you have really clarfied some stuff for me, I still can't be sure, it was them but its like a huge wait lifted from my shoulders.

Wow I am bowled over thankyou thankyou thankyou!!!!!! Oh the relief thankyou ouch thankyou so much I know you will think I am mad I don't know why I really feel relief, but a big wait off my shoulders.

Thankyou Ouch, I know I sound mad and probably OTT right know but thank god, it's so odd.

It's like it's all clicked into place.

Thankyou

Frog