I Don't Know How to Cope

keri_ann · Newbie

I Don't Know How to Cope

Frog · Experienced Member

HI Keri ann,

Welcome to HAVOCA, and well done for posting I know the frist post is always so difficult.

I am sorry the pain your having to go through right know. Your not stupid, and it is not your fualt. I feel we are generally made to beleive it is our fault to silience us, and tell me who deserves abuse, no one!

It's not your fualt, not at all.

sending all my strength to you

take care an we are all here to help

Frog

numb · Veteran Member

Hi Kerri Ann

Welcome and well done you have been very brave to post. You have found a good place to be a place where I know you will find support and love to work through your experiences.

Take your time read others posts and post what you need - don't be afraid you are amongst friends here.

Take gentle care

Numb

ouchzone · Experienced Member

Hello keri ann

Welcome to the forum. First stage in helping to cope I hope.

What really angers me about abuse is that the victims end up with the guilt and the abusers deny responsibility and show no remorse. In other words it's back to front. Even knowing that, I can't cope with the feelings of guilt either. That's mainly why I came here.

Abusers blame their victims to save themselves from guilt. And so they can continue abusing. I think abusing makes them feel better for a while. Then the effects of feeling good wear off and they want another dose. So off they go again. But whatever sort of abuse it is, it's never the victim's fault. Would you get away with it if you gave somebody a good kicking then said something like, 'She made me do it 'cos she's got this annoying walk etc.'? Your abuser will use any excuse to say you provoked it. If you changed your behaviour he would invent something else because he's the one with the problem.

Sounds as if you're still living under the same roof. How safe are you?

ouch

jane · Experienced Member

hi keri ann,

welcome to HAVOCA, its a good place to talk, we are a friendly bunch as you may have noticed.

its difficult at first to post, but as and when you want to, we are here listening.

sending you warmth

stay safe

jane

amanda · Experienced Member

Hello Keri ann

and welcome you are in the right place. The first post is always the most difficult but you done it we always seem to blame ourselves and that is very difficult to get out of.

I hope you keep in touch

Take care

amanda