RED HOT ANGER

liz · Experienced Member

RED HOT ANGER

segelov · Experienced Member

Dear Liz

I understand totally - I spend a lot of time doing things on the PC and the frustration when I hit the wrong button. Also, have periods that no matter what I do nothing will go right, and yes I too get very, very angry, usually with myself because I so obviously am not coping.

And like you I have a partner who travels for our work - he is currently in Rwanda! And at the moment I would so like to cry because everything but everything is going wrong. But if I cry I will not stop! And I am so tired, tired with trying to cope. How long is a person supposed to cope? Is there ever an end to this? And why do so some people just sail through life without a care in the wworld?

Sorry, I really am getting out of control at the moment.

liz · Experienced Member

Dear Segelov

Just thanks for being there. Thanks you for telling me that sometimes computers don't do what you want them to do either. Thanks for telling me how it is for you just now and pulling me out of my pit.

I'm sorry you're struggling too. Perhaps releasing those tears may be just what you need to to. Maybe you won't cry forever - though it may feel like that. Just wish I could cry - because I don't do tears at the moment.

I don't know why some people seem to sail through life without a care in the world. S suspect few people actually do that but it can seem that way though. Coping is bloody hard work (excuse my language) .. . so wearing, so exhausting and on top of everything else working through our pasts can just seem like and be the last straw.

On my better days - and I'm not sure this is one of them! - I like to try and hold on to the fact that through my pain I've learnt? how to be there for others and I'm more a compassionate person - maybe? I believe that to appreciate the good times we have to have something to compare it with. And how can you know what the good moments feel like if you've not known the darkness? But those thoughts are fairly useless when I'm in the middle of the pit or at the bottom of the hole. Hindsight is a wonderful thing - sometimes!

I took the dog out for a walk and have ended up giving her a bath. She is a labrador and loves - LOVES fox poo. Glorious stuff for rolling in apparently! she does it brilliantly and the smell is just appallling. Absolutely revolting! And she weighs probably 5 stones and to dog-handle her into the bath is no mean feat. Haven't done it on my own before now but needs must! and washing her etc has probably helped to dissipate some of my anger too.

Is your husband due home soon or is this a long term trip?

I hope better days or even a better DAY is just around the corner for you.

Take good care Segelov and thnx again.

liz x

The world breaks everyone and afterwards some are strong at the broken places.

segelov · Experienced Member

Hello Liz

thanks, and are you sure your not my twin?

"On my better days - and I'm not sure this is one of them! - I like to try and hold on to the fact that through my pain I've learnt? how to be there for others and I'm more a compassionate person - maybe? I believe that to appreciate the good times we have to have something to compare it with. And how can you know what the good moments feel like if you've not known the darkness? But those thoughts are fairly useless when I'm in the middle of the pit or at the bottom of the hole. Hindsight is a wonderful thing - sometimes! "

I could have written that!

this time he is away until almost the end of this month - suppose I want to be grateful, these days tends to only be away for three weeks at a time, but this trip was preced by a two weeker with only five days between. He tends to be away between a third and half a year, but never altogether - this is our punishment for being involved in a tropical crop and getting involved in World Bank projects. But this is how my partner has chosen to make his living.

I am not sure that I could cope with a dog, nor for that matter that a dog could cope with me - I am scared of them and the wretched things know this. I will stick with cats, hampsters, guinea pigs and rabbits (although rabbits also scare me, they bite, I think they know that I would prefer to eat them rather then treat them as pets.).

Thank you

amanda · Experienced Member

Hi liz and segelov

sorry you have both had bad days as you have seen from my posts the computer is not my best friend it drives me mad but if I don't use it I cannot write and I cannot come on here but that doesn't stop me getting bl**dy mad with the s*dd*ng thing.

I think it always seems worse when we are alone especially if you know that the person to put it right is not near.

Liz your dog seems so real to me I can imagine him being bathed I can imagine him chasing squirrels I can also imagine you now wetter than the dog I hope the fox poo was off before he shook

and segelov I am too awkward for pets a goldfish would be my limitation but rabbit stew sounds good

Take care the pair of you

Amanda

claudine · Moderator

ok, in my first official capacity as moderator,

sedagive, amanda...back away fromm the bunnies!

liz · Experienced Member

Hi Amanda

Thnx for your posting. Our dog is very much a part of the family. She's my daughter - and my son considers her his sister. We both 'talk' for her and my husband doesn't join in at all. how boring is that! I couldn't have another child. My daughter on 4 legs has completed our family. Most of the time I wouldn't be without Cheddar - (and she lives up to her name - loves the stuff!) fox poo days are exceptions. However, my anger came in useful because otherwise I don't think i could have lifted 5 stones of solid dog into the bath. The anger fuelled my strength.

My day has improved - the anger has dissipated for now. My son has managed to sort out the printer by copying the letter onto a floppy and then printing it from his machine. He knows far more about computers than I do - that doesn't take much! Bless him!

I'm a happier bunny?! woops maybe we can't say that word anymore with the new moderator around the next hutch......

You make a difference to my days too Amanda. It's nice when people can remember stuff from other posts like you have done with the dog. That implies care and attention and it feels good. Thnx.

liz x