CONFUSED

michelle · Senior Member

CONFUSED

HAVOCA · Trustee

Hi

There are a couple of interesting points here. Firstly, if someone has just started out on the healing journey, the revelation is such a relief that they have an undying need to tell absolutely everyone. This may in fact be detrimental to their journey because they can open themselves up for all sorts of hassle if they tell the wrong person etc. I would imagine they felt quite confident with you there and possibly even sensed how sympathetic you would be to their cause. Just because they feel they are opeing up by telling they may still need time to address the deeper issues, and these are the issues that a lot of us here have difficulty addressing.

Secondly, abuse victims seem to be able to recognise another victim without asking. Has anyone else noticed that? I seem to be able to guess who's been abused and who hasn't just by watching them for a while.

Warm regards

Jamie

amanda · Experienced Member

Hi Michelle

I just wanted to say I have heard of this before some people who are just beginning to deal with their abuse feel the need to tell any and everyone they need to be heard I think it may be a cry for help I feel if it is not in the right place these people could be setting themselves up for further abuse from others I have a problem around trust and safety and have prefered to hide and deny this has had an effect on my health and my healing journey.

I have actually spoken about it more here than in any therapy I have been in and you the people here probably know more about me than anyone else.

Jamie is right I know that I hold deeper issues that I struggle with I am not ready to deal with them yet but maybe one day I will.

As for abuse victims being able to recognise other victims I think there is a lot of truth in this statement I am unsure what it is that draws us maybe we should open this up for discussion I have never given it thought before but the question has made me feel very vunerable.

Take care

Amanda

michelle · Senior Member

Jamie,

Thanks for your reply. I felt like I needed some answers on the subject. Because I will be seeing this women often now. I was just overwhelmed by the stuff she shared without evening knowing me. You know I have a big thing on those trust issues. And you are totally right about recognizing other abuse victims. I always call it a sicksense My therapist says we are very intuitive.

Thanks always,

Michelle

leckie · Senior Member

hi all

yes jamie i feel i can spot abused people aswell and i have kind of proved it to myself when i was working as a chef i was incharge of the function kitchen for a while well i was the only chef there catering for up to 500 people a night, so it was a fairly friendly place and you got to know the waiting staff pretty well compaired to other areas but there was this young girl 16 yrs old we just seemed to click but it was for a reason i think, i could just feel that she had been abused at some time well it turned out i was right she had been we got pretty close and talked to each other thats when she admited to me that she had been abused and by whom well we allways used to take our breaks together and slip out for a cigaret together as it was the only time we could get to talk but people started talking the next thing i knew everybody thought we wer sleeping together ( people with cruel minds they should not judge friend are friends no matter the age ) well it all got out of hand as you can imagine well the gossups got to her as it had reached my girlfriend and causing trouble at home but i could not tell anyone what we were talking about that was up to her and i would not abandon this girl when she felt safe talking to me even to this day they all think that we had a thing going but we never i had the perfect woman never wanted anyone else, so even now i have not told anyone what was going on

sorry i just have i supose

take care john

michelle · Senior Member

Error I meant a sixthsense.

Michelle