Scared

ouchzone · Experienced Member

Scared

Growing roots and wings · Veteran Member

Ouch,
No you're absolutely not daft - I think a lot of people feel that way. I used to feel that way especially when I was really vulnerable, because the cost of letting down your guard at that time is so high if you're not given support.

By the way, I know I'm often not very tactful (too opinionated), and switch between not wanting to say anything so as not to hurt anyone, and needing to speak so much the flood gates open too wide. I want to tell a lot of people that I get so much out of what they post, and my mind spends so much time thinking about how I'd like to respond that I don't have the time, and next thing I know it's 2a.m. and I know I'm going to be cranky and tired at work the next day! See, I told myself I'd be in bed an hour ago!

By the way, Ouch, I've been trying to send you a private message, but I keep getting logged out when I view member's profiles, so I'm posting here instead. I'll follow up with Jamie when I get more time. Even if I don't respond to your posts, you always have interesting things to say that make me feel glad I'm on this forum, so I hope you'll remember that I'm always responding in spirit.

All the best,
J.

jane · Experienced Member

well ouch, if you're daft, then so am i!

posting frightens me to death because of this, i still do it, but then worry once iv pressed the send button thats it iritrievable and i will have upset someone or completely alienated myself.

the "start" post i recently put out was one i agonised over sending, i was sure noone would respond and if they did it would be to tell me that its not the correct thing to post and i would be kicked off altogether. i bit the bullet though and am so glad i did.

the kind words i have recieved from yourself and others on this site has helped me, i am currently on a low and coming here helps, yes, im posting, but everytime i log back on i fear that the reply box is empty.

know that you are not alone, and i could never imagine you would not get a reply, we are all here because we need to be and we care about others here and that includes you.

take care, stay safe

jane

ps, im dreading the send button again!!

segelov · Experienced Member

Hi Ouch, J and Jane

The amount of posts that I have written then cancelled because

1. I was afraid of what others would think,

2. because I am scared of offending, and

3. because of an experience on another site, where I was told that it was not normal to switch between being very down, and being glad to be alive and various states in between, and thus I could not possibly have experienced all the hurt and abuse that I have.

This is a lovely supportive site, and I believe that we are all here to help each other when we can. Sometimes knowing that all of you are there is enough. Long may it stay like this.

Knowing that so many of my reactions to life are not as weird as I have been told in the past is a great liberation, I still cannot get over how almost every experience that I have had seems to be mirrored by people who are posting on this board.

And yes I am still frightened of rejection even in such anonymous surroundings, Weird or what!

Take care

Frog · Experienced Member

Hi,

WOW! I knoe how you feel, I am so scared of rejection, of not getting a reply, and when you really really need it, your not alone, but it reflects that in the replies you have had to your post.

I think we are all scared, of this being so public, and posting and putting ourselves in this position of writting and then the agansing wait for that frist reply.

OH I now how you feel! when I read your post I was saying yes, I feel that too! And really brave to write that, and I think it's broken the ice a little for me anyway.

I always read alot of the posts but not always sure how to reply, and thinking if I did reply and wasn't sure what I was saying I might just waffle and end up offending someone, so often choose not to reply, maybe others feel the same too, and hence why sometimes we don't get a reply. Just a thought to add to the pot.

Thanks for you post - it's really good, and made me feel alittle more relaxed.

I would like to say too that the replies I get just amaze me so much support and welcoming it's so helpful, I too have looked at other sites but this is be far the best and I feel much more secure here.

Take care

Frog

ouchzone · Experienced Member

Thanks everyone for responding. This is a very supportive community. It's rare to find a post which has zero response. I've noticed that members offer support even when they feel they don't have answers which is really great.

ouchzone