HI guys,

Me again, I was so angry this morning my mum was really horribale last nit it wasn't what she did or said it was the way she did it, it' so difficult to explain, but the way she looked at me, the hurt I felt.

I was shaking  woth rage at work today, I still let it get to me, that is so annoying I wish I could let it go but I can't.

then tonight I got home and my brother was talking to my mum, and he really laid into her in a veraber way saying how dad was always so off with him, he said he's my dad I love him to bits, but he's never come to see how I am getting on, never starts a conversation with me, it has to be a two way thing, he said that just think how it makes me feel a father treating his son like this.

I sat and listenised, and what he said made so much sense and was all true, I felt anoid in a way why can't I have the guts to talk to them like that, well my mum like that, I would never get away with that.

My mum changed the conversation to my dad and said I think he's got emfersema, my dad has real problems breathing, so the conversation went on and my mum said you have to make use of the time you have him etc etc etc... my brother said no, I am not runnoing after him all the time he has to come to me. my mum said you will regreat it, and my brother said will if I do thats my problem.

I am scared of what I feel I cannot forgive them but then I went to my mum and hugged her, and it was a geniwine hug on my part she was upset, so was I I don't want to loose my dad but I can't stand him either.

Needed to talk about this sorry to rattle on.

Confused

Frogster