last night

amanda · Experienced Member

last night

bunny · Newbie

I saw the programe too last night its a shame your collegues never took it seriously :( You are in the right for standing up for yourself dont feel bad i and many others agree that this has happened to them. I am multiple and ritually abused people have been telling me for years that i was mad and just could not seperate reality from not.

We have to stand up for our selves we have already been silenced already for things that were not our fault. We should not have to do it in our adult lives!

My therapist does think that mpd excists! (they said who the f**k do you think we are then!)

Tomorrow is another day hope they will realise that they hurt your feeling and hopefully one day they will not be ignorant anymore

Hugs (if u want )

Jude (and bunny )

ellie · Senior Member

amanda,

i cant believe how narrow minded and blinkered some people are, even when its being presented to them in a programme they dont want to believe or even worse think the victim is making things up. This must have been so distressing no wonder you got angry, a lot of us would have done the same. Dont beat yourself up, you know differently to these people and you know what is true. Maybe its made some of them sit up and think, maybe not.

I dont know what to suggest about facing these people again, it depends how strong and safe you feel. Do you have to go back straight away or would leaving it make it worse? You dont have to explain yourself any more to them or be made to feel guilty about your behaviour, i bet plenty of people have reacted to different situations before and have not felt as though they were in the wrong.

I dont know what else to suggest but maybe somebody else will, but i am thinking of you and wiil try and give this some more thought. Take care and post soon.

ellie

liz · Experienced Member

Dear Amanda

'You couldn't keep you gob shut' because it's happened to you and perhaps if you remained silent then this posting might have said 'Why didn't I say anything?'.

Your anger appears to be 2 fold - at your colleagues for their gross insensitivty, callousness and ignorance and perhaps anger at yourself because for you it's a reality. And the wound is still sore - perhaps raw and you were triggered again, and left feeling acutely vulnerable.

As to facing your colleagues again - I don't think you've got anything to apologise for and maybe just maybe some of them will have wondered why you reacted as you did and if they've got anything about them might wonder if the subject came too close to home.

I'm glad you decided to 'tell' us here. These things shouldn't have to be kept locked away. I hope you will draw support and energy from us though I don't feel I've said anything very helpful.

Take care of yourself and walk into work with your head held high.

I wish you well Amanda.

liz x

Lark · Senior Member

Hi Amanda
I think you can go back holding your head up high.
Everything you said was true- they were being ignorant and offensive. I would have said the same thing even though it has never happened to me- I still know offensive ignorance when I see it. If things are tense I would apologise for name-calling but make it clear that you dont want to hear such things again.
Hope it's okay
Lark

amanda · Experienced Member

Thanks for listening

I am going back tomorrow and Lark I will hold my head up high yes I am annoyed with them and annoyed at myself I let them make me feel disgisting I havn't anything to feel ashamed about have I

Tomorrow is friday I want a weekend like last weekend and if I don't go back it will be sh*t from the start because I know what will happen I will beat myself up so s*d them Your right I don't have to explain myself to them I did nothing

Thanks again and sorry if I am waffling I am thinking aloud

Take care

amanda

margaret · Veteran Member

Dear Amanda,
God people never cease to astound me but so well done you. I have had the same experience with people and found my blood boiling about what people say. It is incredible how people can be so ignorant. How lucky are they not to know the reality.
I really really admire you for standing up for yourself and all of us. You deserve big congratulations. I know it is hard i face it in college at the moment as we are doing a module in sexual abuse. I too have lost it and feel awful for doing that but the more i think about how destructive the secrecy of all this is and we as those who suffered pay for it i think it is not fair. I really really admire you and as lark says you should hold your head up so high. I feel honoured to know such a strong person. I know today is over and hope it was ok for you.
Well done thinking of you sending you hugs for being so brave if ok
Margaret