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Post Info TOPIC: Return Visit to Ooptician *MAY TRIGGER*
liz


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Return Visit to Ooptician *MAY TRIGGER*
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I've just come back from further visit to opticians.  Feel re-traumatized and messed around with.  Still shaking, feel in shock.  Close to tears - (&I don't do tears)  Went back today to collect new contact lenses and whilst there he put in eye drops to dilate my pupils.  Also did other optical tests. Shone bright lights in my eyes, stuff like that.    All felt invasive.  Without my lenses I'm blind as a bat.  Though the optician was nice, ok and all that I just feel very shaken and vulnerable. 


This appointment came straight after seeing my T for the first time in 3 weeks.  That brought failrly mega stuff up too.  And towards the end of the session so there wasn't the opportunity to do much with it.  Sodding triggers i'm sick of them.  (Though on a more positive note I was able to tell him about all these wonderful people I've 'met' here.)


I need some TLC.  Some hugs.  Just feel very fragile. 


Thanks again for being there for me - where would we be without each other?


liz x



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segelov


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Hello Liz


(((((((((Liz))))))) virtual hug.


 


Thank you for the last few days.


segelov



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claudine


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wow,lizzy,


harsh day for you! Any luck finding some funky shades? My worse half didn't suffer any trauma that would make a dr/optrician visit difficult, but he refuses to go by himself. He's blind as a bat without his glasses and feels very vulnerable when he has them off. I can imagine that being magnified tremedously by suffering past abuse. Is there someway you can plan to take someone with you next time?


Did you T get a tan? (I hate that)


c



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liz


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Hi Claudine


No my T didn't have a tan! but he'd had a good rest and couldn't wait to get back to work to see all his 'mad' clients! 


I'm not sure that taking anyone along with me next time to either the dentist (  - cos that triggers too) or the opticians will particularly help.  It's the being messed around with which acts as a trigger.  Dentists more than opticians actually - though today in the middle of all this it's hard to hold on to that.  


I didn't find any funky shades either.  I feel a bit of a waste of space at the moment.  No one ever said seeing T's were bad for your health did they?! on the whole he isn't.  It was really good to see him again just a shame the 2 appointments couldn't have been reversed and then I'd have got the support I need.  Why do things never work out like that?


I just feel so physically cold and naff.   


Stop the world I want to get off! .  Just have had enough of everything today. 


liz x



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claudine


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Hey lizzy,


my T says I don't know how to ask for help. I never call in between sessions, never talk about what I need. Maybe you do the same? Maybe calling your T now or moving up a session or something would help. I HATE going to the dentist too! Too close!!! I usually get very chummy with the receptionist and the assistants so they're kind of 'on my side'. Makes me feel a little better.


Naff!




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liz


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Hi Claudine


I did phone my T when I got home again.  He knows I only phone in between appointments when something major has happened.  He gave me some time, listened and maybe it helped.  I said to him that I knew there wasn't anything he could really say or do and there isn't. But just knowing that I wsn't alone at that moment helped to lessen the panic and fear.  


Because I don't pay for therapy at the moment it isn't possible to up the sessions.  I know if things continue like this over the weekend I could maybe call him again but I don't want to abuse the extra contact.  Don't want him to think i'm a complete pain. 


Anyway, the sense of feeling very cold has eased, my sight is returning to 'normal' for me that is!!!! and the memories remain raw.  Might have a bath later to help me relax and do some writing in my journal.  


Yes it's been a kind of ****ty day all told - though good to have T back.  I feel kind of 'held' again. 


Thanks for your care - you're doing a great job at being moderator.


liz x



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amanda


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Hi Liz


Sorry the opticians was hard and although late sending you loads of (((((((((liz))))))))))


Good to know your therapist is back sessions always seem the same don't they you get to what you want to say in the last 5 mins


Because of triggering and dissociation I usually go with a letter that ends up creased screwed up and unreadable before the point is finished


Take care


amanda



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jem


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Hey Liz!!!


((((((((((((( Liz ))))))))))))))))))))


Big hug from Jem.


You are so brave doing this when it sets off so many triggers. I know you feel low, but look at the inner strength you have to be able to do them. That must count for something eh?


Well done Liz, Proud of you.


Jem



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