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liz


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Forum Addiction - BEWARE!
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Hi there


I don't know about you all but I'm beginning to find this forum a wee bit addictive and I can't decide whether that's good or bad or neither.  I remember Claudine making a similar comment elsewhere - but can't for the life of me think which section she posted in - sorry!.  


From all my postings you may have gathered that this Foum has and is acting as a life line especially whilst my T is away - I see him again tomorrow! and it's made his absence so very much 'easier' - though it's still been difficult  and a very looooong 3 weeks. 


I've never ever felt so supported than here.  Can't believe that you people really think i'm ok.  To have found this safe place is a small miracle.  To be able to share stuff and know that I will be heard is fairly mind boggling stuff.  It just doesn't happen (not to the same extent) out there.  I can't find the words really.....


BUT over the past few days I've had to start to be really careful and disciplined in time that I have spent here.  Otherwise I'd not achieve anything elsewhere.  I''ve not been working this week and therefore have got more time.  Even so it's so easy to sit in front of the screen.....


As to whether it's good or bad I guess it's all about getting a balance as it is with the rest of life.  I've needed this space, this time this opportunity and will continue to need it - so re another of my posts I'm not going anywhere either!.....  And I think it a significant part of my healing process so it is a good thing, it is positive, it is moving forward.  It is also sometimes an overwhelmingly painful place to be too both from my perspective and feeling  and absorbing others' pain and distress.  But I don't want to be anywhere else. 


So my ramblings suggest to me that overall this 'addiction' is ok.  For now. 


Claudine you can kick me off when I'm spending all day/night here!


And talking of rambling - just tell me whether you get sick of my long replies?  It seems that everyone else can be succinct and I don't seem to be able to do that. 


 liz x 



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angel eyes


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It was me Liz who said about the forum being addictive, and claudine suggested it was to do with loneliness!


I am addicted !


I haven't got a therapist or had councelling, or anyone to talk to, so coming here helps me reveal a part of me that's been in hiding for so soooooooooooo long, reading everyones problems helps me because their my problems too, and I get answers here, and I feel safe, and I don't feel like a freak!!!!!!!!!!!


I really do need to tear myself away now though I've got loads to do!!


I'm going to be positive today, cos for some reason I feel ok and it feels nice!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 


take care


liann



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liz


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Hi Angel eyes


Sorry I got it wrong.  Though Claudine may be right in saying that ithe need to be here is something to do with loneliness.  


I'm glad that you feel safe here and can find support too.  


Hope today goes well for you


Wishing you well on your journey towards healing.


liz x



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jane


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i also spend quite alot of time here,  im not quite sure its addiction, i dont feel the need when im at work or elsewhere etc, but when im at home and the kids are occupied i do find that i am on here alot.


i think that lonliness is a factor. i have a husband, that wont talk about it, and friends i dont think quite understand and whom i dont want to put on. i feel here that i am heard AND understood and that is a good feeling, especially when i feel so bad.


i have also decided that i am facing this history head on this time. it never stays buried in the little compartment i place it in and i need to be me, not this be what i am. the forum is part of my support network and i intend to stay here for the entirety of the journey in front of me, (if thats ok with people here that is!) in that sense i dont think it is a bad thing. it is one of my weapons in the fight against something that is threatening to send me over the edge. you keep me from taking the final drop to the very bottom. a place i was last year and never want to get to again.


so my view? we have been in very bad places in our childhoods. do we deserve to be somewhere we like to be? i think everyone would answer YES to that one!


so, keep talking!!


stay safe


jane



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amanda


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Hi all


I don't think I am addictive I do feel supportive and although I have a therapist you all give me that something extra support advice and we have all come from the same place so to speak


I do get lonely mainly when I am floundering coming here and posting or just reading releases my inner feelings of destruction


I have found some where where I am safe and people who have never judged me for that I thank you all


Amanda



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HAVOCA


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I don't think there's anything wrong with being addicted to good stuff.


As long as you can come here, vent, be supported and feel as though you fit in, then things are fine.  Addiction only becomes harmful when it becomes destructive.  I can't see this ever happening here.


Jamie



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liz


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Thanks Jamie et al for your comments 


Perhaps I feel more reassured now by all your comments.  You're right Jamie in that addictions are only harmful when they become destructive and I'm not suggesting that this is - anything but. 


I think my posting has something to do with my guilt at spending time for me.  And am I worth it - and depending on my state of mind at the time there are different answers!  


Also, something else  you said Jamie a while ago about self-forgiveness is that we need to forgive ourselves too for the amount of time we need to heal now.  I can see that in these past few weeks I'm not in the same place and that coming here is very much a part of my healing. 


 Yes, iI think this all comes back to my self worth and perhaps when I wrote that this morning and had the thoughts over the past few days my sense of worth feels/felt negligible.  


As long as I don't neglect my family, and the vital things get done then time given in the name of my healing has to be a good thing..... just have to try and convince myself.  Logically that's fine, but in my heart - well I need work on that area.......


I'll be back......


liz x  



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claudine


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this response is a little late in the game but I realised one thing about my new 'addiction'. It replaced every empty moment of watching tv. I don't miss it a bit.


c



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liz


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oK oK


i feel a bit 'got at' here - maybe it's just my paranoia setting in for the day.  Perhaps 'addiction' was the wrong word to use. At the time I couldn't think of a better word.  From my my point of view that's what it felt like.  


sorry I got it wrong


liz x



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angel eyes


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Oh Liz, I feel exactly the same as you!!!!!!!!! after reading posts i felt wrong for feeling addicted, but It's the way I describe the way I feel about the site!!!!!!!!!!


now Jamie has added that it's ok to feel addicted, I feel ok now!!!!!!


You haven't "got it wrong"


We should be more confident, well I should, and stick to what's been wrote and not feel guilty if people don't agree!!! but we don't do we, we feel like we've said the wrong thing and want to apologise, do you know what I mean! or am I wrong??????????


I'm nervous to send this now incase I'm saying something wrong, but i'm sending it!!!!


take care Liz


Liann



 



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angel eyes


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I think I'm going to have a panick attack because that last post sounded cocky and I can't get rid of it, ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh


sorry



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HAVOCA


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Self-worth I think you hit the nail on the head - why couldn't I think of that!


Everyone is worth something here.  Addiction is the right word to use, but it's a good addiction to have as long as it's under control. 


I was thinking when it might become destructive.  Here's some things I could think of:


Sat at your computer all day/night.


Taking a computer with you so you can log on at every available moment.


If you don't post for a day, apart from missing the support, do you feel ill?  If you are physically ill you probably need to find alternative help.  This forum is great - but it isn't the be all and end all of healing.


Have I missed any?  There must be some funny ones - like posting whilst on the toilet etc.


Stay safe everyone, Jamie




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From victim to survivor to thriver.
liz


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Dear Angel eyes


Thank you.  Just thank you! I'm so afraid of getting it wrong - because my childhood was all about being the wrong person, and not being good enough.  Getting it wrong because I wasn't the boy my parents wanted.  


I'm still afraid of being criticised and I just felt like I was being on this one.  And maybe I was and that shouldn't matter.  Doesn't make me an awful person - even though I think it might.     It's good to know you feel the same way about this issue.  It means that I'm not alone and that makes so much difference. 


Your posting wasn't cocky and you needn't have apologised. 


liz x



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claudine


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Hey guys,


My cat certainly thinks I'm on the computer too much. Found a hairball on my computer chair this morning. How's that for a statement.


c



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jane


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now thats funny claudine!




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