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numb


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Asking for support
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I posted a couple of days ago about a phone call I had received.  Well I am going to do something I am not very comfortable with yet but ask you all to support me over next few hours.  I have to make a couple of phonecalls this evening to establish whether my sis*** is in this country.  Not feeling very strong at the moment, in fact don't even know I have the courage to pick up the phone. 


Other than a small amount of contact 20months ago I have had no contact for years - my choice I could not take anymore of the physical/emotional and in the past sex*** abuse she has dished out at me since the day I was born.  The fact that she lives abroad has helped but the thought of her even being in this country - well it is not good.


I know if I don't make the call the no knowing will be worse - but sh*t this is so hard


Is it so wrong just to want a few hours without my head and body aching with the pain of the past.  I am so close to the bottom of the spiral I have no strength left to face this alone.


Can't belive I have just written all this - but for once in my life I know I need others around me.


 


Thank you all


Numb (Mel)



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angel eyes


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I really don't know what to say cos I'm crap at this, but hang on in there, your a strong person, and I believe in you, I dont know you, but I know the pain you suffer daily, take care, and know that I care about you and have you in my thoughts, If I could do anymore I would!


best wishes


angel eyes


 



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liz


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Hi Numb


Good to see you posting again.  Just know you are not alone with all this.  Whatever you post there are lots of us here who will reach out and be there for you, be there with you to help you through this.  


Why don't you make the phone call and then post again to let us know what happened?  Just a thought. 


I think you're right in that if you don't make the call you will never know whether your sis is in the uk and the not knowing may well be worse than knowing and then planning on how you will cope with it. 


Hang in there my friend and know that I'm thinking about you.


liz x



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Frog


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Hi Numb,


Boy your going through such a rough time, but we are all with you, standing all around you to hold you up and carry you through this really bad time!


You CAN do this, you are STRONGE. YOU SURVIVED!!!!! An you will survive now, your not that little girl anymore, although I now you feel like it right now but remeber to ground yourself.


It's October 2004, and you have your life you have us all here. And we are all here sending all our strength to you.


I know it's feels so bad but this time will pass and you will feel better, and no aching or you head exploding just focus on that time, on that goal.


You can do this!


An we are here to help!,


I hope I havn't affend you in any way, I don't know what your going through becuase I have never been in your perticular situation, I just wanted to let you know that we are all behind you 100%.


Take care of you, post again if you need us.


Sending big hugs (if thats ok with you)


Frog 



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When one door closes another one opens
leckie


Senior Member

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Posts: 66
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hi numb


my heart and sole goese with you to give you suport i have told you are getting stronger or you would not be thinking about making that call but whatever the out come of it just remember you are the one that counts you are a great person just keep the streighnth that you have and build on it and one day this will all just be a bad memorry in the back of your mind so i am reaching out to take your hand while you get through this bit i would say good luck but i dont think you need it just go for it and find out we are all here when you need us you are not alone.


take my hand numb


take care john



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spanglemaker


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Hi Numb



sounds like you are having a really tough week, also sounds like you are finding great new strength to do things differently now, doing what is right for you to feel safe. I am here supporting you all the way. You are not alone, you are in my thoughts thoughout this week. 



Go gently



Spanglemaker



 




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claudine


Moderator

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Hey numb,


hanging in there? talk to us! Let us know how we can help.



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Lark


Senior Member

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hi numb
It's ten hours since your post and I'm hoping you are okay. Just remember we're all behind you- here for you if you need. I'm sending strong supportive vibes out to you.
Lark


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Growing roots and wings


Veteran Member

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Mel,
I want to say "Ditto" to what everyone else has said here. It sounds to me like you're getting tired of being the one left out of the picture, it certainly leaves you disadvantaged, not only because no-one is validating you, but because you don't get any information to help you make an informed decision. Liz is right, not knowing can definitely be worse than knowing.

I just wanted to let you know that I'm proud of you.

And I'm sending kudos to your girlfriend for telling you about this - that sounds like something a real friend would do.

Hang in there.
J.

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We bequest our children two lasting things. One is roots. The other is wings.
numb


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couldn't make the calls - feel really bad


 


maybe today


 


numb



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amanda


Experienced Member

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Hi numb


It doesn't matter that you didn't do it its got to be in your time slowly and when your ready post when ever you need and don't worry


Amanda


 



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