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amanda


Experienced Member

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Posts: 184
Date:
self pity/anger
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Bloody hell yesterday was a struggle I did the one thing that I havn't done for a long time I felt sorry for myself and I am sorry it was unacceptable.


It had been a triggering day nothing went right I fell on my ars* and as much as it is padded it hurt to make matters worse two very caring gentlemen decided it would be good to pick me up which frightened me to death that little child took over poor s*ds they must have been as frightened as she was to have this fully grown women screaming in an uncontrollable manner


I really don't know what is up I have been back on my meds and have seen the difference but it is so easy to slide at the moment back to what I hate.


Do you know I have never opened up before you know things about me that I have never said before and I hope it has not caused problems for others if it has please say I will shut up if you prefer me not to post please say and I will respect you for this


I am sorry I am such a mess at the moment and hope if I have replied to anyone it has been ok


Please accept my apology and take care


Amanda 



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liz


Experienced Member

Status: Offline
Posts: 123
Date:
Permalink Closed

Hi Amanda


I'm really sorry that yesterday was a bum day - sorry I couldn't resist that one!  Seriously though I'm sad for you that you're finding it especially tough going at the moment. 


But please don't go away.  You have as much as right to be here as the rest of us.  Keep posting, keep talking, keep telling us how it is.  I and others want to be there for you just as you are there for us.  


Reading someone else's posting today it would appear that none of us - or very few of us - are capable of being very compassionate towards ourselves.  Why do we give ourselves such a hard time? Actually i probably  know the answer to that - something about self protection and if I beat myself up first then if others follow the impact isn't as great.  


I hope there was no physical damage sustained after your fall.  Emotionally and psychologically  that healing will take  a while longer. 


I feel for you and hope that today will be a better day.


Take care, try and be gentle with yourself and KEEP THOSE POSTS COMING!


liz x


 



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jane


Experienced Member

Status: Offline
Posts: 116
Date:
Permalink Closed

amanda,


please dont apologise for what you feel and say.i have never felt anything but caring and hurt for your pain when you have posted. dont stop, if you can open up on here then that can only be a good thing.


as for yesterday, well whatever feelings you get, at whatever time, they are acceptable. everything you feel is acceptable, and if you dont mind me saying (hope you dont) very well deserved for what you deal with.


dont be angry withyourself, take care of yourself and allow yourself to feel whatever you need. you are doing well, give yourself some credit for the good days and allow yourself the pain for the bad without feeling angry that you have bad days.


i hope i made some sense and havent made you feel worse.


take safe care of yourself


jane


 



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Lark


Senior Member

Status: Offline
Posts: 88
Date:
Permalink Closed

hi Amanda
I'm sorry you had a yuk day. Please dont ever stop posting! We are here to share our good and bad so dont censor your feelings! it's all okay.
There will always be bad days, I guess we've just got to hope for our bad days to diminish until they are merely annoying days.
I hope you're feeling better and you get a treasure day soon You deserve it.
Lark


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