I seem to be falling apart just now. I have an emergency appointment at the optician's at noon today - Saturday. I tried putting in my contact lenses and the right one doesn't 'feel' right nor is my sight ok. Don't think it's that my cleaning isn't up to scratch either.
I'm scared because I find trips to the optician's as scary as trips to the dentist. (Another story another time!) Once I've taken out my lenses I'm as blind as a bat and feel extremely vulnerable. And the optician always makes feel stupid. And I feel so embarrassed because my sight is so rubbish and I can never read the sodding letters, nor tell which is better - this lens or another one. The whole ordeal makes me look stupid and thick and I just don't need that today - or any other day.
I feel panicky already and close to tears - maybe this will trigger them. And talking of triggers the whole thing just triggers stuff again.
Can you just hold me in your thoughts because this is going to be tough for me.
Thanks as always to all of you out there. I've never felt as supported and cared for as in the last 3 weeks. And without getting too emotional about this I guess the BIGGEST THANKS go to Jamie for setting up HAVOCA in the first place. From one very appreciative survivor.
I will make sure I am thinking of you at noon we rely on our extra bits ie glasses contact hearing aids for emotional support when they are removed we become even more vunerable
You know what the problem is they make those sodding letters too small to start with so we don't stand a chance if they were double the size it would be of benefit
You have made the appointment now go for it remember we are all here supporting you you will have so much positive vibes coming your way at 12 you will float through.
Just as an extra Liz maybe you have started something when we have an appointment coming up that scares us maybe we should post so that the vibes everyone sends to us will help us along
I went along at 12 and it was ok. I got through it all with my sense of humour. I was apologetic too cos I thought I would be wasting their time even though I knew things weren't right.
The optician was fine this time and said too that someone with my degree of vision would never be wasting their time and that made me feel better. Apparently he thinks I had inadvertently managed somehow (though I don't know how!) to turn the lens inside out. not easy considering its gas permeable and not a soft lens.
Anyway, after lots of tests, lots of being unable to read the letters and feeling extremely vulnerable when I took my lenses out, he has ordered a new pair urgently which should mean I get them later this week. Another ordeal then cos he wants to put drops in and that means I can't drive home - or anywhere else straight after. A small price to pay I guess.
BUT I am grateful for his patience and his humour and his attentiveness. I kind of felt cared for today and that's a big change from normal.
So thank you for being there for me - again. Crisis over for now.