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Post Info TOPIC: To Post...or not to Post
rob


Veteran Member

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Posts: 44
Date:
To Post...or not to Post
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Hi everyone


This is not really a new topic but a collection of older threads that has me troubled


I will tell you my position...I have many work colleagues, associates and distant "friends" (as most of us prob do!). I have some friends, whom I can call upon if needed, they do'nt know or understand my abuse and prob think I act a bit difficult sometimes. Then I have friends who are aware of my abuse, who unconditionally support at all times. Sadly, I have more toes on my left foot than these real friends. It is not anyone's fault except mine. My defenses are so well tuned, I keep a very tight control of my "space" for protection (Does anyone relate to this?).  I find it difficult to trust and "hedgehog" if I feel vulnerable (I ball up and show my spines until I feel safe).


Havoca and this forum are helping me by acting as a go between from my close inner circle to a wider position of trust, able to allow my emotions to be more free and as a benefit , helping others (I hope!). However, it is also a two-edged sword! As I move forward in my journey, I am coming across this problem...



  • Should I post?

  • If I post, will I offend someone?

  • If I do'nt post, will I be unsupportive to my fellow jouneypeople (excuse pc).

  • Will I project my anger on someone else who does'nt need it right now?

  • Should I just support or offer advice (apologies!!!)

etc,etc negatives, guilt, spiralling out of control and CRASH!


This forum is well policed (Great work Havoca) but I still feel vulnerable. The Pen Pal Forum and possibly Chat-GREAT! but, I'm not ready to handle things like that right now. I needed to get this of my chest, so to speak and



  • I apologise to anyone if I in any way offend. Please forgive me now for any mistakes I may make in the future. I am in total support of all on this site but, I may get it wrong sometimes.

Am I being too sensitive, irrational or does anyone else think the way I do? I would appreciate your views.


Rob.



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claudine


Moderator

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Posts: 185
Date:
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hey rob,


DOH! is exactly right. It's all in that word.


In case you havn't noticed, I went from anti-post'r to, what, 3 stars in 2 weeks?  I struggle with exactly the same. Plus, I did have a little ah,  ..moment?


Damn the torpedo's! Just jump in! Of course, I get a little insecure if no one responds but it usually just takes a little time or perhaps folks are blue (hard to type when blue) or maybe there just isn't much to say back. Sometimes you just need to vent a bit, yes? The way I see it, the more the merrier


c



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claudine


Moderator

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Posts: 185
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okok


all together now


'shut up claudine!'



 


seriously rob, give it a shot.


c



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jane


Experienced Member

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Posts: 116
Date:
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rob,


i am completely opposite, i put myself in harms way continually, trusting everyone still, i am the eternal optimist. i think im looking for something, what, im not sure, a closeness i never had as a child i suppose. the only time i protect myself is if i or someone i care about is directly attacked, be it verbally or other. i jump in too quickly and come out fighting, which i usually regret, having said far too much. no spines to stop people hurting me whatsoever.


my answers to those questions


if you feel you want to post, then do so.


why should your feelings offend. they are yours and legitimate.


if you dont feel like responding to others:dont, there are plenty of us, someone will do it. your needs count, dont feel pressured, we all have felt like not posting. me especially.


as for directing anger, i presume it wont be at one of us therfore, again, they are your feelings we can take it.


support or advice: i think you should probably read jamies post on that one. but generally, if people dont want to hear opinions, they will now be saying so. then you will know.


by the way, your sensitivity on these issues are very much like mine and i know others here. keep posting.


stay safe


jane


(ps, these are only my views, hope they are ok)


 


 


 



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jane


Experienced Member

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Posts: 116
Date:
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hey look, all my posting, you made me a senior!!!


jane



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rob


Veteran Member

Status: Offline
Posts: 44
Date:
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Hi Claudine, Hi Jane


Thanks very much for the support. After nearly 40yrs of denial, I'm still finding it difficult to be open and trusting...even here! It has meant a great deal for me and I will keep plugging away. You never know I may even get to register with pen pals


The best to both of you and once again Thanks!


Rob.



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segelov


Experienced Member

Status: Offline
Posts: 100
Date:
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Rob,


 Keep posting if that is what you want to do,  you have good insights. If this forum helps in any way stay. We need you here.  I have not noticed anything that angers or upsets from you.


if anything at first glance does get my hackles up it is amazing how waiting 24 hours changes my perception (good work Jamie for the advice)


No Rob do what you feel comfortable with.


Take care



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