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leckie


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helping her understand
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hi all would just like to know if there is a book that anyone can recomend for my x partner to try and help her understand the afects of abuse.


i was with jill for almost 7 yrs and i love her so much but i could still not let her totally into my life as much as i wanted to, before i met her i had a friend that i got pretty close to but she died after having a kidney transplant well that really really upset me so after that i started to lie to keep people away from me i took on a roll of needing a transplant well i thought everyone would think the way i did if you are ill and might die they would stay away and not get to clos to you so it carried on for years then i met jill but i could not tell her the truth as i did not want to lose her plus i did not have the guts to tell her it was all just a story the years went by and it took its toll on both of us trying to deal with my abuse the nightmares etc, so i really need a book that lets jill know that people deall with abuse in differant ways and protect themselves in diferant ways .


so if anyone can help please let me know


thanks


take care john



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HAVOCA


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Hi John


A good book is Allies in Healing, by Laura Davis


UK Link: http://www.amazon.co.uk/exec/obidos/ASIN/0060968834/havoca-21/026-8093414-8222854


Although I'm sure you'll admit that although she may understand after reading the book it won't change anything until you deal with the abuse in a safe way and can stop lying.  By lying to protect yourself you have in fact caused more pain. 


I empathise with you, as my life has followed similar paths.  But there has to come a time when honesty prevails, not just to other people but to yourself.


Stay safe,


Jamie



-- Edited by HAVOCA at 21:37, 2004-10-07

-- Edited by HAVOCA at 21:39, 2004-10-07

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From victim to survivor to thriver.
leckie


Senior Member

Status: Offline
Posts: 66
Date:
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thank you jamie for your help


i have stoped lying to everyone and to myself and it does feel good but it is hard to regain peoples trust but i will get there thats a promis to you all and myself


thanks again jamie


take care everyone john



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