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HAVOCA Home -> HAVOCA Message Board -> General -> RESPONSIBILITY
Post Info TOPIC: RESPONSIBILITY
michelle


Senior Member

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RESPONSIBILITY
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I believe we should all take responsibility for are actions aganist others. If we feel we could cause someone some kind of injury we truly need to seek help for that.That is something to take serious. I do believe we need professional help at times working through different levels of abuse. This site is tool. It can not offer the professional help one may need in there recovery.


I take abuse serious I work everyday with children who have been taken from there homes because of abuse.


I know this site can offer support but I feel sometimes we need to get real about some aspects of our recovery. I did not wont that to come across mean in know way. I just FEEL it is our responsibility to ourselves and others to always seek the best treatment for our recovery.


Michelle



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Raindancer


Veteran Member

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Hi Michelle,


I agree with you 100% that we should take responsibility for our actions towards others whatever that responsibility may be. Yeah, we are also responsible (at the end of the day) for our own healing/recovery...but i think 'Treatment' differs for eveyone and the pace at how they move towards 'treatment' also varies. Forums such as these are tools to aid in recovery, but its all that some people have (through no fault of their own). One thing i've noticed is that people join such forums as this and then decide to go into therapy etc, but it all links in with responsibilty and that to me is someone starting to 'get real' about how abuse effects our lives.


Im sure we all here take abuse very seriously. You have a very difficult job and i applaude you for helping those children, only wish there was no need for it and that all children where safe from abuse.


Take care, Raindancer



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HAVOCA


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Hi Michelle,


I agree with you but sadly not everyone is in a position to seek that professional help.  Whether monetary, psychologically or just plain physically, some people are unable to get 'professional' help.


My main reason for starting this site was to give people the chance to start their healing journey.  The internet is a great tool for people who can't necessarily find a therapist within their area, their monetary constraints or find one who fits in with their live style.  I had terrible trouble finding professional help, which is why my efforts turned to making this site.


HAVOCA always promotes therapy, but for those of you reading this who can't, for whatever reason, find or attend therapy, it isn't not the end of the line.  Michelle is right, you can use this site as a tool, the support you find in the forum and the self-help books are all excellent ways to heal from abuse.  After all healing isn't about getting better - it's about learning to lead a more fulfilling life.


If you need therapy in order to achieve your goals in life then thats fine, but not everybody needs that 'professional' help in order to live their life to the full.


I think what I want to say is that therapy isn't the be all and end all, it is just another weapon in the survivor's inventory that can be used if needed and available.


Personally I found therapy invaluable, but I know others who prefer to do it their way - whatever works for the individual is great by me.


Have a good week and look after yourselves!


Jamie



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From victim to survivor to thriver.
michelle


Senior Member

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Posts: 65
Date:
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Jamie,


I agree but if someone is in fear of bringing physical harm to someone.I truly believe they need to find another outlet.I do not know how it is in the UK but in the US we have many kinds of resources.


I am sure your aware when you are digging up past demons as I call them it can be very dangerous.I just think people should be aware when going back down the road of abuse. To be very careful. I know I am not a doctor but there are somethings we just know.And some people are just starting there journey and need to be aware of this.


Michelle



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jane


Experienced Member

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i haven't posted for a couple of days as at the moment i am feeling really really low. i still come and read though.


i do not use this site as my "treatment" it is a place i can talk to people that may understand how i feel and where im coming from, if i want to say something. in my life i have no listening ear at home, therefore i come here.


i also take abuse seriously and i think that was a very strange comment to make. how can it not be taken seriously when you have lived through it. i am also in a profession that deals with this topic on ocassion and i take my job very seriously.


having read the board for a few weeks, i think it strange that a post stating that people need to take responsibility is required, i have not had a feeling that anyone here would even need that reminder. we are only too aware of what not being a responsible adult is all about.


i am now concerned about posting my real thoughts on this board for fear that i may be showing a side of me that isnt appropriate and appears too needy for the site.


take care all, stay safe


jane



-- Edited by jane at 01:08, 2004-10-04

-- Edited by jane at 08:18, 2004-10-04

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michelle


Senior Member

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Posts: 65
Date:
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Jane


I do not feel you got the whole concept of the post. Read conflict in Cyberspace.


Michelle



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HAVOCA


Trustee

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Posts: 147
Date:
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Jane,


I think you are spot on.  Using the forums as a place to come to listen, speak and offer support, is exactly the place it should be.  Used in conjunction with the rest of the site and other external resources it can be a useful tool for us 'survivors'.


I'm really disappointed that you feel unsure whether to post.  Rest assured that nobody judges you here.  Part of the idea of posting is that you can write your inner fears and anxieties.  In a forum as large as ours, not everyone is going to agree with each other all the time.  That's what makes this place unique and so valuable.  I for one certainly wouldn't want people to agree with everything I said all of the time. 


Each and everyone of us is an individual and we all have different opinions and vices.  If we disagree with someone's post or line in a discussion we have the choice to give our opinion or not reply and discount the advice.


I truly hope you aren't put off from coming back.  But if you don't I'm sure we'll all wish you well for the future.  I personally would like you to stay, but if you regretably left then I'd welcome you back whenever you felt the need.


If you'd like to talk more feel free to email trustee@havoca.org


Jamie



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From victim to survivor to thriver.
liz


Experienced Member

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Posts: 123
Date:
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Dear Jane


I just want to say that I hope you come back.  What you want to say is as valuable as everyone else's posts.  This forum is about being where we are and being able to express all the stuff that we can't with others who perhaps aren't survivors.  It's about being accepted and supported. 


In the past month or so since I registered this site has been a Godsend to me.  I've received much support in that time.  It's such a relief to know that I can come here and post and others will respond to my need.  Or I can just come and browse and yet feel part of it all.  It's helped me to feel less alone, to understand myself a little better.  I feel accepted here because no-one is going to judge me. 


Your feelings are unique to you but that doesn't make them 'wrong', or unacceptable.  


Whether you return  or not I wish you well on your journey but I hope to see you again soon. 


Take good care of yourself and best wishes - Liz x 


 



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amanda


Experienced Member

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Posts: 184
Date:
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Hi Jane


Like many of us you have highs and lows for me this place is somewhere I come I read I share and I hopefully support others like they support me.


This is not where I get "treatment" that is something my GP, psychiatrist and therapist deal with.


None of us are right we all have differing opinions and we cannot agree with everyone all the time.


I do agree that we have to take responsibility for our actions but for some people this is just too difficult at present but hopefully as they journey this will come.


Some of us who have suffered abuse struggle with what is right and wrong all my role models in the first 26yrs of my life were abusive so personally I have hard a hard journey working out what is acceptable and what is not


I do hope you stay with us even if you don't post just read


Take care


Amanda



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