downhill slide

amanda · Experienced Member

downhill slide

segelov · Experienced Member

Dear Amanda

How brave you are! It will all pass honestly it will, concentrate on yourself. The fact that you are able to write means that you do have strength. To acknowledge what is happening to you also takes strength, and as you do not like what is happening you will come out the other side, just now it does not feel like it. Sometimes we have to sink to the depths before we can turn round, hold on to what is important to you, you and your children, and any one and anythings else.

Anger, I garden, pummel bread dough or put music on very loud, or write your anger on paper and tear it up into little pieces and let the wind take it away. Silly things, but sometimes they do work.

Wrap yourselve up in love and take care of yourself

Segelov

claudine · Moderator

Hi Amanda,

I felt the same when I was facing new memories and had no one to talk to. i told the people around me that I was havinging difficulty dealing with some 'things' to see if it was something they were going to be able to handle or not. Most often, everyone gave me a little help with day to day stuff and backed off. I spent alot of time on the site and journaled alot too. Simplify your day, do what you have to and spend the rest of the time on you and let people know how they can help, even if it's making dinner! You have to keep talking, though. I'm sure you know this. There's alot of people here to listen and support you. Let some of those feelings out. I hope this helps, I do understand how painful it is.

c

ouchzone · Experienced Member

No need to apologise. That's why we're here. To listen and help each other. I've been where you are now. I'm just a little further on the healing journey. Please keep posting to progress along yours.

I remember it being really scary. I still have days like that but not as often or for as long when it happens. I still have enormous difficulty concentrating which at times is dangerous. When my children were young I was afraid of anyone finding out. But I know now it's a symptom of past abuse so don't blame yourself. I don't know how old your children are so it's difficult to get the picture.

You're not alone while you keep posting. One evening I hope you'll look back on the day and maybe think 'that wasn't so bad'. After that comes the good days.

Take care of you and yours. Thinking of you.

ouchzone

feemarie · Senior Member

Hi amanda,

I know you probably realised this but you arent alone, i know i have definitely been where you are now, often. it is the hardest thing i guess. I know its tough for you those boxes bursting open and i know that right now you feel like you cant handle it but believe me its gonna get better. They had to be opened one day im afraid but you have shown such strength just by being here and posting what you are going through. Dont feel like you are letting everyone down please, It is only right that you think about yourself right now, you need to to get through this, try taking little steps to do nice things for yourself keep talking on here and i dont know if you have someone in your life to talk to but if you do take comfort in them. you will get your strength back and then the other things, the house, the job, your children will all fall back in place.

I hope this helps a little bit, you are in my heart and thoughts and i feel your pain and am sorry for it.

Take gentle care amanda, big hugs too.

fee

x

Sue · Veteran Member

Hi Amanda and everyone,

I have the same situation that I had all these years (40) nightmares and I do not know the main reason. Now that the lids are open, I feel free. I am not just a nut case but there is a reason for being restless. You and I and everyone reading what we write are togather having almost the same feelings. So, you are not alone niether do I. I opened the website as soon as I did not feel well and guess what? I feel among friends and it feels great. My migraine even is getting better. How about if you have a shower and think what will I cook for dinner and I will do the same. I confirm I am not alone, I have all the survivors as friends.

Sue

amanda · Experienced Member

Hello to you all

Today is a better day I would just like to say thankyou for all your kindness. This is probably the first time in my life when I have felt so alone but have actually known I was around people who understood but more importantly cared.

It was a couple of things that triggered me into such a state that I didn't know what to do I wanted to run but could not I wanted to scream but could not I wanted to hurt those who hurt me but could not.

But today I have decided I need time, time to be me, time to lop around not to be the person everyone expect.

The words seem good at the moment I will have to work hard just to believe them but things could be different couldn't they.

Thank you all once again

Amanda

michelle · Senior Member

AMANDA

When you are dealing with abuse issues.DEPRESSION is something to consider. You may won't to check with your doctor.

People can give you all the support you need. That will not over come depression.

Just a thought

Michelle

leckie · Senior Member

derpression does have a lot to do with it but thing is you do not realise or want to accpt that at least that is the way i was it took drastik steps to get me to go see the doctor am on antidepresants and i do know they help, because a few weaks ago i thought i was ready to come off them but my mood and whole personality changed again now i am back on them i feel ok. and when i need to scream and shout an cry i usually go down to the beach at night it works for me, maybe you can find some where private and safe for yourself

take care john

amanda · Experienced Member

This is my confession and Michelle you made me jolt myself back into reality You mentioned depression I have suffered with it for many years a month ago stupid me decided no more medication and I stopped it yes just like that I was convinced I had been on them so long they were making no difference how wrong I was it seemed okay I was unaware just what effects it was having until it was too late even then I could not see this was the problem until it was spelt out so no real option but to restart

Thank you for caring

amanda