I tried to answer this yesterday, but the words I wrote did not seem right.  I would still like to make suggestions, so I hope today it all comes out better.

Whenever I go to therapy I often feel it is a chore that I would much rather not do, but as I have promised myself to see this through I still go.  I often have a feeling of fear as I arrive, and know I am likely to leave after a difficult discussion, and may well feel worse than when I started.

I have various strategies, some are valid, and some are ... well ... not so valid and I do not necessarily recommend them.

I have three ways of preparing before I leave home.

1. I will think about what was talked about at the last session, and see where further thought might take me.  I will write down any dreams I have had to take to the session for discussion.  I may even try relaxation/meditation techniques before I leave.  This method is rarely followed in full, but I do try.


2. I will write down my dreams, and hope to remember to take the piece of paper with me when I leave.


3. I will leave everything to the last minute, because I didn't want to do any upsetting deep thought between sessions.  I leave the house late, and have to rush to get there on time, which means I don't have time to start getting worried about going!

When I arrive again there are three different ways I spend the time before the appointment.

1. I will arrive in plenty of time, and will read through the dream diary in preparation, and prepare in thought for the hour ahead.


2. I will arrive with a couple of minutes to spare, and will be thinking of the shopping I need to get afterwards.


3. I arrive at the time of the appointment or a minute or two later.  I rush to get out of the car and lock it up, rush to the door and hope I don't puff too loudly when she opens up.

These are the various ways of preparation that occur for me.

I realise that I have looked at it humorously, and I hope I have not offended anyone.

Seriously, I have been in a situation where I went to therapy every two or three weeks, and for me this was too long a period between sessions.  There was so much time between for me to ignore the problems, and to carry on using the coping mechanisms I had.  Two or three days before hand I would have to start thinking again about the appointment, and it would be hard to get back into it again.  So I can understand your problem.  I go far more often now and it does make it easier to keep the work moving all the time, but does not make it easier to go.

As mentioned earlier I promised myself I would stick this out (I stopped therapy the first time, but things did not improve).  I do not want to continue living my life in the shadow of the abuse, so no matter how scared, worried, fed up, sick or whatever, I will continue with therapy to find a better way to live.  It is hard work, but for me the hard work is not to allow my feelings take control and make me hide away, which I would really prefer.  I have to fight my instinct to shut up and hide.

So perhaps it isn't the preparation that helps me get through therapy sessions, it is the stubborn streak that says I won't be beaten by this.

I hope this helps.