Feemarie,

I also used to suffer from nightmares that took over my life and made it almost impossible to function.  I can't say that I've successfully overcome my problems with nightmares, largely due to some bad advice I received, but I have found a few things over the years that have helped a great deal.

First of all, I believe that some (but not all) of our nightmares are there for a reason.  They are trying to convey a message to us, even if we don't understand it, or want to hear.  I think it's important to make some time in your life, and put some supports in place, to figure out what they're trying to say.  Don't let yourself make the same mistake I made - don't let anyone talk you into taking strong sleeping pills to blunt the message unless you have an absolute guarantee that it is only for a short time, and that you have the support you need to go off them again.  I've been on them for over 10 years.  I don't have the support I need to get off, and worse, I'm much farther away from understanding what my nightmares are trying to tell me than I would have been without them, because the pills play with memory and cognition. 

It's also very common to try to exhaust yourself so that you fall asleep from exhaustion, and bypass REM sleep, the part of sleep responsible for dreaming.  You won't really avoid dreaming that way, you just put yourself into a state of bad health that can eventually leave you more vulnerable to nightmares.  If your body is using this technique (if it is, it's very difficult for your mind to overcome this), try to get yourself rest and good nutrition every way you can possibly think of.

I think that it's important to try to make bedtime, and your bedroom, a nurturing and comforting place, as much as you possibly can.  Try to find things that are soothing and comforting, even if it feels silly because it seems to be much too little to combat the strength of your nightmares.  For a while, I had a TV in my bedroom, and left it on the weather channel to go to sleep, because the music they played at night was very calming.  Eventually, I got to the point that I couldn't sleep without it, and I would start to feel calmer whenever I heard that music.

You also might want to try reading about lucid dreaming.  Lucid dreaming is a way to use your conscious mind to influence your dreams.  I've really just come across this recently, but realize that I was naturally doing it when I was in my teens.  I often had dreams about falling from hundreds of feet in the air, over trees that could impale me, with wild vicious animals below.  At first, I would somehow realize that it was a nightmare, and make myself wake up before I hit the ground.  However, over months and years, I taught myself to glide, and then eventually to fly.   At first, I got so that I could glide myself out of danger's way.  Eventually, I taught myself to fly - sort of.  I never got to the point where I could just take off and soar like a bird.  The best I ever achieved was to sort of flap my arms and 'just' clear buildings - sort of like a drunk goose.  But I did get to the point that, very often, if I was in danger I could jump up and flap my way clumsily out of harm's way.  I was certainly not able to do that all the time, especially not in the worst nightmares, but the times I did do it I would wake up feeling like a miracle had occurred, and like I was a superhero! 

My abuse was in infancy, which means that my nightmares aren't literal.  I've learned that they represent my feelings, rather than the actual situation.  Because the content isn't specific, this leaves me a lot of room to influence the outcome of situations in my dreams.  Because your dreams are a re-experiencing of your abuse I don't know if this technique will work for you, but I believe it's worth a try.

As for the dreams remaining with you all day, I found that that was the worst.  I also found that, if I tried to ignore mine and live my life as if I didn't have them, that that effect got worse, and the nightmares would often escalate.  I found that a combination of making a safe, secure place for bedtime, and paying some 'honour' to my nightmares by acknowledging what they're trying to say worked to lessen both the number of them, and the intensity.

Above all else, take the opportunity to be as good to yourself, and as nurturing, as you possibly can.

Hello Feemarie

I support what has already been written. In times of stress I still suffer with nightmares but have learnt to work with them not against them if it has been a particularly bad night I now ring into work sick not try to prove a point by going in then through tired and lethargicness make a mistake and end up in deeper waters I stay at home and rest.

I love to sit in my conservatory with a book music playing and a good cup of tea watching the birds in the garden.

I too have been and still am on long term medications they only numb the situation for a time the fear problem usually erupts in other ways.  

I am battling hard to come off these medications with support from a very good GP and therapist and a not so good psychiatrist (probably because we have not built up a level of trust).

If you can look at other methods before meds I would support this.

Take good care

Amanda