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Post Info TOPIC: Why me?????(might trigger)
Tracey


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Why me?????(might trigger)
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Why did it happen to me?? I know that is one question I'll never know the answer to!


I was put in a childrens home when i was 8 by my parents who thought they were doing the right thing!! I had suspected epilepsy(thanks to my aunt!!!!)


whilst i was there i was raped and abused numerous of time by a group of teenagers!! (4 boys and a girl!!!) That really screwed me up!!! it went on for over a year!!


then on my 11th birthday my brother started as well!!! this went on for a couple of months! couldn't say anything as my brother could do no wrong and I was the trouble maker according to my parents!!!!


I've spent nearly all my life being abused in some form or other!! I joined the RAF as soon as i could to get away from my family!!! but was bullied through out my time (9years) and when I came back to civvy street I was treated the same!!!


why  can't i have a normal life with friends!!! instead of this lonely life with hardly any friends!!!


I got married last year! but looking back I married the first man who asked me!! don't regrett it though but we arn't madly in love like newly weds should be!!!


I really hate myself for what happened and think i could of stopped it!!! even though my counsellor keeps telling me ! that I couldn't not as a 8 year old or even at 11!!


sorry for waffling!


just do what everyone else does when it comes to me!! and ignore it!!!


just thanks for letting me waste this bit of space!!!



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Tracey x
claudine


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Posts: 185
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Hey Trace,


There will be no space wasting or ignoring here. Just lots of understanding, compassion and hugs(if you want them). I'm sorry for what you've been through. We unfortunately tend to repeat the 'victim' behaviors that the abusive types seem to instinctively know. You can learn to protect yourself, take care of yourself and find people who will treat you with kindness. This is a great place to start!


c



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margaret


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dear tracey,
You are so brave to tell your story please know you are worth it and there are so many wonderful people here i know it is hard but this is a graeat place to get support believe me. Take care of you of course you matter,
Sending you love if ok
Margaret x

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Lark


Senior Member

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Posts: 88
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Hi Tracey
I'm so sorry sbout what has happened to you and I'm so glad that you made it here with the rest of us. Nothing you write will waste space here - it's not possible!
Lark



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Tracey


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Posts: 8
Date:
Thanks!!
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Thanks for the support and hugs!!


I know your probably right!! but can't see it at the mo!!!


Just wishi could sleep!! haven't slept since monday!! tried hot milk and hot baths!!! even whisky but still awake!!




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Tracey x
claudine


Moderator

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Posts: 185
Date:
RE: Why me?????(might trigger)
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Ok so, pile up alot of soft things, pillows, pets, laundry.cause you're just gonna fall over any minute! Monday? sheesh girl, lay down!


c



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amanda


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Tracey


Thank you for sharing I cannot say much but please know I am thinking of you


amanda



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